Dad’s Mysterious Disappearance

Ok, I admit it.  I messed up, and accidentally lost track of Dad’s whereabouts.  I know what you’re thinking.  As pack leader it is my job to know where my pack members are at all times.  But in my defense, I had a lot going on this weekend with the lunar eclipse UFO threat, not to mention another blizzard on the way.  I can’t keep track of everything!  If I recall correctly, the last time I saw Dad was sometime on Friday.  We had just come inside from playing in the snow, and I immediately went online to check for any UFO/comet updates.  Ok, now that I think of it, he may have been acting weird and have a suitcase with him.  But who has time to worry about minor details like suitcases?  This is an emergency!

It wasn’t until Saturday morning that it occurred to me Dad wasn’t home all night.  Relieved that the UFO invasion never occurred, I instantly turned my attention to searching for Dad.  I checked his favorite spots, the living room, the office, and even the bathroom, but to no avail.  Also there was no sign of him on our neighborhood patrol.  That’s when it hit me.  I spent so much time warning everyone else with my post on Friday about the celestial triple threat, that I never warned him!  How could I be so thoughtless?  Better yet, why are Mom and Asa binge watching the Gilmore Girls when Dad could be zipping through space on a UFO?  Anxiously I paced to and fro in front of the TV voicing my displeasure.  Mom just cooed and petted me, saying that Dad would be home later.  Later?  Later!  We need to find him now!

Throughout the day on Saturday, all I could hear was the relentless sound of buzzing outside.  Perhaps we were invaded by UFOs after all?  Once Mom finally took a break from watching Netflix, I turned on the news.  However, all the reporters were talking about is the incessant snow.  Who cares if we’re getting more snow today?  What is all that buzzing!  Asa explained to me the noise that I heard was just snowmobiles.  HA!  What does he know about snowmobiles?  Ok, so Asa was right, the buzzing was only snowmobiles, but don’t tell him that.  As the day wore on, Mom tried to distract me by playing in the snow.  But that only made me more determined to locate him before bedtime.  At bedtime I strategically placed myself at the backdoor, and barked to be let out.  That’s when I realized things were more serious than I initially thought.  Rather than follow my lead and go out to search for Dad, Mom invited Asa and myself to sleep upstairs with her!  We’re NEVER allowed in the bedroom!  Much less on the bed!  This can’t be a good sign.  What happened to Dad?

That night I laid awake listening to the sound of Asa’s panting, followed by Mom yelling at Asa for trying to make snow angels in the blankets.  Then there was the thump when Asa fell off the bed.  Ok, that was funny.  But all needless distractions from the true emergency.  The next morning Mom’s calm demeanor was finally cracking.  She seemed more anxious and kept looking outside as the latest round of snow began falling.  She even went outside to play that foolish shovel game, where she moves snow from one place to the other.  That’s when it dawned on me!  How could I have missed such an obvious clue as to Dad’s whereabouts?  The last time I saw Dad was when we were outside playing.  Maybe Asa buried him like he did my ball?  I wouldn’t put that past Asa!  He’s so irresponsible that I could totally see him accidentally burying Dad in the fluffy snow, and then walking away.  Outside I began to dig.  But with so much ground to cover, not so much as a glove could be found.

By Sunday afternoon Mom started losing her mind.  I overheard her on the phone talking about Dad flying!  Flying?!  Dad can’t fly!  Only birds can fly!  Why would Dad be flying?  He doesn’t even have wings!  Clearly the stress of the situation was getting to her.  I needed to keep a brave face so as not to scare Asa.  If panic breaks out, we’re all doomed.  I stood watch at the window straining my eyes through the blowing and drifting snow looking for Dad.  All night long the storm roared on, and I refused to sleep.  A member of my pack is missing!  Why doesn’t anyone else care?  Also why does Asa keep making blanket snow angels and falling off the bed?

So as it stands now, Dad is still missing.  Mom is delusional and talking about him flying home this evening.  Maybe she finally believes my initial UFO theory?  And Asa is too busy making snow angels both outside and on the bed to realize the dire situation we are facing.  I’m headed out now to continue the search by digging in the freshly fallen 2 feet of snow in our backyard, while once again Mom plays that foolish shovel game.  How can she play in the snow in a time like this?  Wish me luck as I attempt to solve Dad’s mysterious disappearance!

UPDATE: Dad mysteriously reappeared in the middle of the night, grumbling about never flying again and snow.  This can only mean one thing, that both of my theories were correct!  He was flying on a UFO that got trapped under the snow!  Mystery Solved!

I’ve narrowed down Dad’s whereabouts to either on a UFO or under all this snow!  The search continues…

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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