The Golden Tail Wags Awards

January marks the beginning of awards season.  Therefore we would like to welcome you to our first annual Golden Tail Wags Awards!  Oh sure you’d expect this to be about the best of the best.  It’s not.  Our awards are in honor of the weird and wonderful things we have seen while visiting Dog Friendly Places in 2016.  Rest assured these awards are not your average superlatives and definitely nothing to shake a stick at!

Tree Most Likely to Eat Dogs: We see a lot of trees on our hikes, and quite frankly Asa and I pay little attention to them.  However, while hiking at Maudslay State Park, we stumbled upon our winner for the scariest tree.  Clearly this tree eats small dogs when their owners aren’t looking!

Mom thought it looked like an elephant. Don’t be fooled, it ain’t no elephant!

Most Likely Alien Abduction Hot Spot: If dog eating trees aren’t worrisome enough, be on alert when hiking the Eastern Trail!  It is a well known fact by me…and probably only me…that infamous Alien abduction purple laser beams can be seen all along a certain section of that trail, especially during winter hikes.  Luckily for Asa, I am always aware of my surroundings so could warn him about this possible Alien abduction attempt.

Asa, not to scare you or anything, but there’s an Alien purple laser beam ahead.

Most Likely to Meet a Furious Fairy: Boasting the most Fairies per capita living in Maine, Macworth Island is an enchanted place to hike.  However, Asa would like to caution you, never, repeat never, take a stick from a Fairy house!  They aren’t the most forgiving of creatures.

Macworth Island, where a stick is so much more than a stick!

Most Intelligent Sign:  The award for Most Intelligent Sign goes to the Eliot Boat Basin!  Rather than the usual accusatory signs making dog owners feel defensive, here is a rational, well-written reminder from dogs to their owners on the benefits of following the rules.  This is pure genius!  Humans rarely listen to other humans, but who can resist a polite request from their dog?

Finally a sign that says what us dogs are thinking!

Most Random Sign: Winner of The Most Random Sign found on a hike goes to the one warning of free-range chickens deep in the woods of Kennebunkport.  We never did see any that day, but I still occasionally wonder who are these free-spirited chickens bravely roaming the woods of the Tyler Brook Preserve unaffected by wild animals but susceptible to dogs.

If they can survive the coyotes, no wonder dogs need to be protected from these chickens!

Most Historically Significant Object Found on a Hike: Asa gets credit for this historic find.  While retracing the footsteps of the the Colonists and the British soldiers along Battle Road, he stumbled upon a garage door opener in a field.  Perhaps it was dropped by one of the fleeing British Troops over 240 years ago?  In case the forlorn soldier is still searching for it so he can finally open his barn door and stable his horse, we left it on a rock along the Fiske Hill Loop Trail.

Winner of the Golden Tail Wags Award for Most Historically Significant Object Found on a Hike.

Mostly Likely to Loose Ball to Sands of Time: That Revolutionary Soldier isn’t the only one who lost something while enjoying a day out.  Asa lost my beloved tennis ball in the soft sands of Old Orchard Beach.  Paws crossed 200 years from now someone will find my ball and give it an award!

Seriously Asa, why did you bury my ball?

Beach Mostly Likely for Dogs to Share Their ChuckIt Launcher: And the winner goes to…We have a tie!!!  For the first time ever at the first annual Golden Tail Wags Awards the honor for Beach Most Likely for Dogs to Share Their ChuckIt Launcher goes to Willard Beach and York Harbor Beach!  At both beaches we found ourselves suffering from ChuckIt Launcher envy.  However the friendly dogs and humans we met at these two beaches were more than happy to let us join in their game of fetch with that most wonderful toy!  Oh and after humiliating our parents those days, we now finally have our own launcher to enjoy and share with friends in need.

Thank you dogs of York Harbor Beach for sharing your tennis ball launcher with us!

This photo does no justice to the riveting game of fetch we enjoyed at Willard Beach.

Thus concludes the first annual Golden Tail Wags Awards!  If you would like to congratulate any of our winners in person, you can find the locations mentioned on our Dog Friendly Places page…just be careful around the scary tree that eats dogs, it may be hungry this time of year.  Now it’s time for the after party!!!!

Welcome to the first annual Golden Tail Wags Awards, with your host, Chuck Billy!

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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