‘Twas two days before Christmas when all through the mall,

Asa went shopping to buy gifts for them all.

A skateboard for Chuck Billy,

Or will he think that’s silly?

New t-shirts for Dad,

Oh won’t he be glad!

Mom’s gift is from Secret,

Do you think she will keep it?

Now dash away, dash away to the ATM all!

[Editor’s Note: our sincere apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and all poets everywhere!]