Unnerving Elves

On Monday I began teaching Asa about the Ultimate Puppy Challenge by explaining some of the obstacles during the Christmas season that puppies must avoid.  Today I would like to continue my discussion with a lesson on Elves.  The best way I can describe Elves is that they are like living with Cats.  Elves will sit unmoving in various locations around our home, silently staring at you long enough to give you an unsettled feeling, and judging your every move.

But do not react!  As with the Cats, you must avoid the temptation to chase Elves, or bad things will happen.  For you see, Elves work for Santa.  He uses them to watch and study our behavior.  I’ve heard people say that Santa uses this information from Elves to compile a list of who is nice and who is naughty.  So if you want presents on Christmas morning, you must at all times be vigilant to behave because Elves are watching.  I think Santa initially tried to use Cats as his spies, but he soon realized not all people are “cat people” and will not readily let them into their homes.  Elves, on the other hand, in their cheery little outfits and perpetual grins seem to make humans let the guard down and welcome them.  Also Cats can be…well, catty!  Anyways, long story short, Santa hired Elves to watch us, and so whenever you feel one staring at you from dark corners and overhead on mantles, stay calm!  The amount of squeaky toys we receive this Christmas will depend on it!

Elves record your every move, even if you don’t see them.  So you must behave at all times.  This includes resisting the urge to tear into the mountain of presents under the tree, despite your new found love of shredding wrapping paper.  Also try to be aware of your happy tail when at friends’ homes.  One swoop and a table of cherished knickknacks could be ruined, and with them our Holiday fun.  Elves are everywhere watching us and reporting to Santa!

On Friday I will share with you how to face the most challenging obstacle of the Christmas season – Santa!  It’s not just Elves you have to worry about if you want to stay off the naughty list!

That unnerving feeling that hidden somewhere is an Elf watching your every move, and judging you...

That unnerving feeling that hidden somewhere is an Elf watching your every move…

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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