Zombie Puppy vs Vampire Puppy

For months now I have been convinced that my little brother is a Zombie Puppy.  But after watching a documentary on Vampires, I’m beginning to have second thoughts.  Perhaps Asa is actually a Vampire Puppy!  After careful consideration Asa seems to have more in common with Vampires than Zombies.

Zombies walk with an awkward gait.  As a puppy, Asa did too.  But now he is quite agile when he walks.  So perhaps the staggering early on was just due to Asa’s body growing so quickly.  Also Zombies are a mess.  No offense Zombies, but your clothes tend to be in tatters, and often times you’re missing an appendage or two.  Asa on the other hand is completely intact, and with the exception of the occasional roll in the dirt is well groomed.  Now here’s where things get a bit tricky.  Zombies bite at everything that move.  Asa is no exception here.  It is normal when playing with with Asa for him to pounce, and take a nip at anything from my tail to my nose and everything in between.  So perhaps he does have Zombie like tendencies?

In contrast, Vampires are much more put together and can function in society without anyone suspecting a thing.  Asa also puts on a good appearance when we are out and about.  The only indication that something is amiss is a Vampire’s pasty white complexion, of which Asa has as well.  In addition, Vampires are known for having super speed.  This is a new skill that Asa recently acquired.  It’s only been a few weeks, but he can now easily catch up to me then pass me while running.  Vampires are more active at night.  Well it isn’t any secret that Asa suffers from puppy insomnia and is known for playing the night away.  But the biggest characteristic of Vampires is that they like blood.  Well thankfully Asa isn’t that gory.  I’m pretty sure I would have noticed by now if Asa’s fur was stained in blood.  After all he is a very messy eater.

This leads me to only one conclusion: my little brother is some sort of weird hybrid of a Vampire Zombie Puppy!  To be honest I’m not sure if that is good news or not.  So just to play it safe I will continue being nice to the little guy and not get on his bad side.

Vampire Puppy claims another victim.

Vampire Puppy claims another victim.

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About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

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