Don’t panic, but Aliens have invaded Maine!  A UFO was seen landing in Maine in the wee hours of the morning yesterday.  Now I know what you naysayers are thinking, “Chuck Billy is overreacting again.”  But this time I have proof from a reliable source.  Even more reliable than celebrities, politicians, and a stuffed dog astronaut!  Check out this dash cam video Sgt. Tim Farris of the Portland Police captured while on duty on Congress Street.  Adding further credence, according to the American Meteor Society, over 600 witnesses have reported seeing this bright light not only over Maine, but also its trajectory from as far away as Vermont, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Massachusetts, New York, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Ontario (Canada) and Québec (Canada).

I can’t help but blame myself for this recent invasion.  After all everyone knows that Aliens have been tracking my whereabouts for quite some time now, ever since that fateful trip to the vet’s office when they implanted that microchip in my back.  Clearly the Aliens know about my recent trip to Portland last Sunday.  Their sudden appearance there now is hardly a coincidence.  The Aliens are coming to get me!

Asa, on the other hand, has his own theory.  He claims that with Memorial Day Weekend right around the corner, the Aliens are simply tourists interested in enjoying all the dog friendly beaches and trails that we have been reviewing on our website.  You can choose to believe whoever you want.  But I’m going to hide in an undisclosed location until the threat is over, and I strongly suggest that you do the same.

[Editor’s Note: Chuck Billy, the fireball has been determined to be a meteor by the American Meteor Society and not a UFO.  Can you please come out from under my desk now?]