Lately I’ve been reading a lot about alternative forms of currency ranging from cryptocurrency like Bitcoin to e-commerce like Apple Pay. Well once again Dogs are leading the pack in this new world order. Since the invention of the poop bag, Dogs have been making purchases without any cash or credit. Therefore humans, it’s time to stop falling for these trends, and invest in the time honored currency of Dog poop! You don’t even need an app for it, just a bag!
Now I know like most new investors you’re probably skeptical. How does Dog Poop Currency work? It’s simple, in exchange for a bag of poop, you can get treats. Take for example my weekly trip to the local transfer station. Dad bags up all my poop from the week and I escort it with him to the dump. There Dad drops it into a big bin, and in exchange the friendly people who work there give me treats. And not just any treats, I’m talking the full size Milk Bones! It’s just like cashing a check at a bank, except while there Dad can also drop off our recyclables and trash too. Perhaps your community doesn’t offer this service? Or you’re looking for an alternative form of currency that can be used on a daily basis? Well we’ve got you covered. Asa and I also use our Dog Poop Currency to earn treats every time we go out. It’s simple. Just go out, poop, then immediately run back to the house and Mom will pay you with treats in exchange for that simple deposit!
Now I agree the Dog Poop Currency market can be a bit volatile. There have been times when the market completely crashes. For example like when we go to the transfer station, make our poop deposit, only to be told by a distraught employee that they are out of treats. It is in those moments that Dog Poop Currency has no value. In contrast though there are days when the value of poop goes sky high! Take for example January’s deep freeze. During those subfreezing days, Dad was so happy when Asa and I quickly paid him for our walks, that he would give us extra treats in exchange. So I agree there is some risk in investing in Dog Poop Currency. The biggest downside is at this point it seems you can only purchase treats and nothing else, not even squeaky toys. Also I’m really not sure what humans do with all that poop they collect. However, given the recent big dip in the Stock Market, is that really any safer to invest in than Dog Poop Currency?