To commemorate Asa’s first 100 days living with us, I would like to sit down with my little brother for a performance review.

How do you see your role in this family?

Well, I have many different roles.  I am the Family Ambassador when we are out in public, because people can’t resist my cuteness.  At home, I’m in charge of fun mostly because you’d rather waste time by napping when we could be playing.  I’m also the Official Taste Tester since everything I see must go into my mouth.

What are your greatest accomplishments thus far?

I’ve accomplished so much in my first 100 days here!  Where should I begin?  I learned those silly commands of sit, down, come, wait and drop it that our parents think are so important.  All while training Mom and Dad on my commands including “I Want Ice Cubes,” and my personal favorite, “Pay Attention to Me.”  I’ve also learned to suppress my instincts by waiting to relieve myself outside no matter how distracted my parents are at my time of need.  I wish I had a phone so I could alert Dad with texts.  But until I learn how to text, I will manage my needs through self-control.  My biggest accomplishment thus far though is learning to tell time to alert Mom and Dad when our meal times are approaching.  I’m proudest of this accomplishment, because I fear they would forget to feed us by the way you just quietly sit by your bowl and wait.

What are your goals for the next 100 days?

I’m slowly realizing there is a lot more to this world than our backyard and neighborhood, especially since all the snow is gone.  I want to go on grand adventures, explore more beaches and go on more hikes in the woods.  I would also like to investigate if mountains and lakes really do exist.  Perhaps I may even learn to swim!  In addition, I would like to continue my education.  I’ve noticed there are a few commands you get rewarded for that I do not know yet.  Also I feel the need to teach Mom and Dad a thing or two to better accommodate my lifestyle.  You and Lemmy have done an excellent job training them, but clearly there is room for improvement.  Perhaps I may even indulge my artistic side by teaching Mom and Dad a few tricks.

Is there anything that we can do better?

Excellent question!  Although you are doing a good job, there are a few things I would appreciate if you would explain to me better.  First, the seasons.  This whole transition from Winter to Spring was very jarring for me.  Should I be concerned that the disappearance of the snow is due to global warming, or will it return at a later date?  I must admit, I really do miss it.  Second, holidays.  I’m assuming there are more holidays than Easter, St. Patrick’s Day, and Super Bowl Sunday?  A little advance warning would be appreciated.  And do we get to wear costumes for all holidays?  I really enjoyed the bunny ears at Easter and the novelty sized bowties on St. Patrick’s Day.  I’m not sure why you were so disagreeable about wearing them.  And finally, why do you get to be Alpha?!  Clearly I’m the brains of this operation!  Have you not learned from me the importance of barking at meal times?!  Also I’m quite sure Mom and Dad would sleep all day if I didn’t bark at precisely 5 AM each morning!  A little help in rousing them would be appreciated.  Oh, and if you could unlock my crate for me from time to time I would be grateful.  It’s boring sitting in there all night, when I could be taste testing the furniture!

[Editor’s Note: Opinions expressed in this interview do not necessarily reflect those of Chuck Billy or his parents.]