Dear Maddie,

I would like to apologize for my little brother’s behavior at the beach on Saturday.  That was really nice of you and your Dad to invite us to play fetch.  Asa didn’t mean to dominate the game.  It’s just that for the longest time now we’ve seen dogs playing at the beach with that awesome toy you have called the “Chuckit Launcher.”  Although we’ve subtly tried to tell our parents that we would like one, by following dogs playing with them, Mom and Dad are oblivious to our needs.

Now I know, you’re right, I should just go online and buy one for ourselves like you did.  But I got a bit greedy while Mother’s Day shopping and bought a few too many squeaky toys for myself, so Mom has since hid her credit cards from me.  A more mature approach would be to stop hinting and outright ask Mom and Dad to buy us a ball launcher.  But the timing never seemed right.  You know how humans are, they have to be in the right mood.  Otherwise you get lame excuses like “we’re here to buy you food,” or downright falsehoods like “you have plenty of toys.”  Can a dog really have plenty of toys?

But enough excuses, long story short, after months of having Chuckit envy, poor Asa couldn’t take it any longer.  Please don’t regret inviting us to play with you.  We had a lot of fun.  I’m just sorry that Asa took over the game you were enjoying with your Dad and didn’t share.  Ok, so I apologize for me too.  I may have lost my head a few times chasing your ball.  But think of it from our perspective.  You must certainly remember the thrill you felt that first day when your Dad used it, and effortlessly threw the ball down the whole length of the beach!  Now that’s what I call fetch!

Also I’d like to apologize to my Mom and Dad for abandoning you, and choosing to play with Maddie’s Dad instead.  No offense, you throw ok.  But the distance the Chuckit gets for maximum running blows my mind.  You have to admit you were pretty impressed when I took off at full speed down the beach chasing that ball.  Bet you didn’t know when a ball is properly thrown I could run that fast!

Thanks again Maddie for inviting us to play. Our sincere apologies for not sharing!