As a renowned Dog Ufologist, I am asking for your assistance with my latest research.  When you look up to the night sky, do you ever get the feeling that we are not alone in the universe?  Spoiler alert.  We’re not.  Aliens are closer than we think!  In fact they may already be here and living amongst us!

In “The Animal Agenda,” season 12, episode 12 of Ancient Aliens, they suggest that Humans are very egocentric to believe Aliens look like them.  Aliens may actually look like animals.  Why didn’t I think of that?  This theory totally explains Cats!  It is the perfect explanation for their aloof, secretive, disdainful, judgmental  and often superior attitude towards both Dogs and Humans.  Cats must be from another planet, and I think that planet could be Mars!

As you may have heard, the planet Mars is at it’s closest point to Earth in 15 years.  On average it is approximately 140 million miles from Earth, but as of Monday night it is a mere 35.8 million miles away!  Thus making it easy for UFOs to make the trip from Mars to our planet.  Or, as my theory suggests, easier to make the quick commute back to their home planet.  Do you know where your Cat is?

I’m requesting your assistance in my research by observing Cats these next few days.  Are they acting weirder than usual?  Are they missing completely?  Or are there suddenly more Cats around than you remember?  Have you noticed strange lights or UFOs hovering over your neighborhood?  Is your Cat oddly obsessed with chasing these lights?  Perhaps Cats aren’t Aliens at all, but just good friends with them.  Does your Cat have any peculiar new friends lurking around the house?  In addition to your observation of Cats, as always please be on the lookout for little green men too.

I’d do this research myself, but my kitty cousins insist on hiding whenever I visit.  For all I know they could be on a UFO headed back to Mars this very moment.  That could explain why they don’t like car rides and never come to visit me.  Perhaps they prefer the technological advances of UFOs over Pepere’s truck?  But I digress.  Now get out there and observe your Cats!  By mid-August, Mars will travel farther away from Earth in it’s orbit around the sun.  So we just have this small window of opportunity to see if Cats are behaving weirder than usual.