The Interrogation

On the evening of January 24, 2018 a pair of dog nail clippers were reported missing.  After an in-depth search and investigation, two suspects were brought in for questioning.  Their names have been changed to protect their identity.  The following is their interrogation for this currently on-going investigation.

Det. Mom: Charles William, our investigation clearly indicates that you were the last one seen with the nail clippers before their disappearance.  What really is important though is to establish why they disappeared.  I’d like to think that this is not typical of you and that you acted out of character.  I know things have been rough on you this winter cooped up inside.  You haven’t gone on a decent hike in a long time.  I really believe that you are an honest dog and this disappearance was out of character for you.  But with your nails growing longer, you were under pressure and couldn’t take the thought of having your nails clipped.  Every night you were lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering how you were going to avoid those dreaded clippers.  I think all this stress built up in you and then you saw that someone left the dog nail clippers out on top of your crate, and in a weak moment, probably just a second to two, you gave in and grabbed them.  Is that what happened Charles William?  Did those clippers go missing on the spur of the moment or did you plan it out?  It was just the spur of the moment, wasn’t it?

Charles William: I don’t know what you’re talking about.  What nail clippers?  I haven’t seen any nail clippers.  (Quickly glancing over at asA.)

Det. Mom: That’s right.  I have reason to believe you weren’t working alone.  I have strong evidence to believe you had an accomplice.  asA here, equally didn’t like those clippers, maybe more than you, Charles William.  It all make sense, you wanting to protect your younger brother from the harsh reality of having his nails trimmed.  I think he asked you to hide the dog nail clippers.  Isn’t that right, asA?  You asked Charles William to hide the them, so you both could avoid being clipped. Did you help him with their disappearance?

asA: I’d never steal anything!

Det. Mom: Calm down, calm down.  Who said anything about stealing?  See, that’s good, you’re telling me that you’d never plan this, that it was out of your control.  I’m your friend, remember?  I just want to get to the bottom of how the dog nail clippers disappeared. (Both suspects begin to squirm.)  While there is no doubt that you two did this, what I need to establish are the circumstances that led up to this happening.  asA, I know you dislike having your nails trimmed.  And Charles William, witnesses have seen you run away at the mere sight of them.  Now if you just tell me what happened, I can help you.

Charles William: But what does it matter if I don’t like my nails cut?  I didn’t do it!  I’m not a thief!  Ask anyone!

Det Mom: Was this thing your whole idea, Charles William, or were you talked into it?  I may be wrong, but I bet this is the first time you’ve done something like this.  Was this the first time or have you hidden other items before?  asA, it was just the first time, wasn’t it?

Charles William: I’d like my lawyer, Pye the Guinea Pig, to be present.  (asA sighs, and looks down at the floor.  Det. Mom leaves the room.)

We’re innocent! You can’t prove anything!


About the author

Chuck Billy is a Golden Retriever, living in Southern Maine, who likes to share his unique observations on life with his little brother Asa. When not writing his blog, he spends his days being awesome.

1 comment on “The Interrogation”

  1. Bye the Guinea Pig

    I’m very concerned about how this interrogation was conducted. It is a well established fact that those of us with four paws despise nail clippers. There are many other dogs living nearby, who often visit. Perhaps one of them was the one who purloined the clippers? Not to mention the countless wildlife who visit? Frankly, I believe that this is a conspiracy by Mr. Squirrel to frame my clients. ~Pye the Guinea Pig, Esq.

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