Finally I have official confirmation for my Martian Cats theory! Last week the Polish Academy of Sciences classified domestic cats as an “invasive alien species.” Yes, you read that correctly. Scientists have labeled cats as an alien species! Now they’re not ready to take the leap and agree with my theory that they are from Mars. However, their wording speaks volumes and is definitely progress towards acceptance of my theory!

Alright, so I admit there is some disagreement between my definition of alien and the Polish researchers. According to the biologists who entered cats as “invasive alien species No. 1,787,” onto the Institute of Nature Conservation list, “’felis catus’ was domesticated probably around 10,000 years ago in the cradle of the great civilizations of the ancient Middle East, making the species alien to Europe from a strictly scientific point of view.” However, just because there aren’t any witnesses still around who remember when and where their UFO landed on Earth, doesn’t mean cats are not from Mars, or at least that’s my theory as a renowned Dog Ufologist.

Why now? Well according to lead biologist in this study, Wojciech Solarz, “the cat 100% met all criteria to land itself on the list of invasive species due to the animals’ harmful impact on biodiversity.” See! I told you, cats are a menace to society! Solarz went on to explain in an interview that “cats kill 140 million birds in Poland every year.” This startling figure doesn’t even include the mammals cats also hunt.

However, before you go running in fear from cats, the researchers at the Polish Academy of Sciences believe we can peacefully coexist. We just need to limit their time outdoors. However, I’m still suspicious as to why my kitty cousins are always hiding from me when I visit. What are they plotting? I recommend we continue to keep an eye on our feline friends, because it is only a matter of time before we get concrete evidence of them in their UFOs traveling between Earth and Mars.