As many of you know, one of my missions in life is to warn fellow dogs about the dangers of Alien abductions. Not to dwell on the past, but approximately three years ago on a routine visit to the vet’s office I was abducted by Aliens. My abduction was a textbook case: I experienced unexplained loss of time, and when I awoke I had a microchip implanted between my shoulder blades and I was physically altered. Since then I’ve talked to countless other dogs who have experienced the same thing. Oh sure some are in denial, and try to rationalize it with medical jargon or by simply saying that they were “fixed.” A questionable answer in my opinion since they weren’t broken in the first place! However listen up naysayers, this includes you Asa, I have additional evidence, and this time there’s a social media campaign to back it up!
Students from the Morecambe Bay Community Primary School in Lancashire in northwest England, recently participated in a fascinating science project of launching a dog stuffed animal attached to a helium balloon along with GPS tracking equipment and a GoPro camera into space. During his mission, Sam, the brave toy astronaut, captured spectacular images of himself 15 miles above the Earth’s surface. However, when the balloon and the camera returned to Earth, Sam was no where to be found!
Since then an all out effort has been launched on social media to #FindSam. In fact, the Midland Hotel in Morecambe is offering a free stay to anyone who finds Sam and returns him to the schoolchildren. Despite the worldwide attention on the plight of this brave stuffed dog, no one dares to voice what really happened – Sam was abducted by Aliens!
I really can’t blame the Aliens for wanting to keep him. Dogs are awesome, and why wouldn’t they want one as a pet? Especially one who traveled all the way to their neighborhood in outer space! And although there are plenty of real dogs available for adoption on our planet, I’m guessing Aliens have trouble passing the rigorous background check most breeders and animal shelters conduct. So perhaps it is good that Sam made the ultimate sacrifice to protect all dogs on Earth! I just worry about what will happen when the Aliens realize they were duped and abducted a stuffed dog?
Have you seen Sam? Contact BBC Lancashire!
[Editor’s Note: Asa still does not believe Chuck Billy’s theory on Aliens abducting dogs. In fact, he believes Chuck Billy’s hero, Ancient Aliens theorist Giorgio Tsoukalos, wouldn’t even consider this explanation for Sam’s disappearance.]
