I can’t help but notice that my summer flew by much too quickly. Perhaps yours did too? Well after careful research of photographic evidence I can definitively say: Aliens Abducted Summer! It is the only logical explanation of why there simply wasn’t enough time to do all of my well thought out plans that I dreamed of during the endless winter months. The following is my shocking new evidence of how Aliens abducted our summer through the use of wormholes!
At first I was inclined to believe that the Aliens must have abducted our precious summer days by using their infamous purple laser beams. After all they had plenty of opportunities such as when UFOs were spotted over Portland just before Memorial Day Weekend, or more recently during the Perseid Meteor shower. In fact, I even theorized that Aliens may have stolen our summer before it ever started. This photo of a UFO laser beam was taken on a visit to the beach in early spring. But then I realized perhaps that is too obvious, and these laser beams were just to distract me from their real method. Intrigued I began scrolling through Mom’s countless photos to see if I could find any new evidence.
The purple laser beam is only a distraction to their true method of abduction.
That’s when I was horrified to find photographic proof that Aliens did indeed abduct summer! But they didn’t use laser beams. They used wormholes! According to the Einstein-Rosen Bridge Theory, a wormhole is a topographical feature that is fundamentally a shortcut connecting two separate points in spacetime. By using a wormhole the Aliens found a way to construct a tunnel to bypass our summer! This picture taken in early July is proof that I ran through a wormhole tunnel straight into late August! That totally explains why my summer was so short!
Rare photographic proof that I ran through a wormhole.
Mom even captured evidence of herself falling into a wormhole! Surely Dad and Asa followed without realizing it! After all Asa follows me everywhere, and Dad is always so distracted by gadgets that he could easily walk through an Alien tunnel. The wormhole theory also explains why some people claim the summer flew by, while others said they enjoyed every minute of it. Clearly Aliens only denied some of us the joys of summer while extending it for others.
Mom captured the moment she fell into the Aliens’ wormhole!
I know this is a lot of shocking news to take in all at once. No doubt you want to start scrolling through your own photos to see if you fell into a wormhole. But before you go, I’d like to leave you with my final fighting words on the subject. Aliens, you may have made my summer go by too quickly, but there is still plenty of excellent weather in the fall. Mark my words, despite Labor Day Weekend being only a few days away I will continue to enjoy my summer plans before winter returns!
