I’d like to begin by stating I’m fine. However, yesterday I had surgery to remove a lump from underneath my eyelid. Dr. Heidi assured Mom and Dad that is was a benign cyst. Clearly Dr. Heidi is not familiar with my research as a renown Dog Ufologist, because that was no cyst. She removed an Alien implant!

As some of you may recall last year around this time I was abducted by extraterrestrials while visiting my friend Dr. Doug at the vet’s office. It had all the telltale signs of a UFO abduction – bright light, unexplained missing time, and proof of a medical experiment on my body with the removal of a skin tag. Foolishly I thought that was all they did to me. Yet a couple months ago it became readily apparent they also implanted something in my eye.

At first the lump didn’t bother me at all. It started so small that it was barely perceptible to me that I would only occasionally feel the need to scratch my head. Later it got a bit bigger but was only visible to others when I was in the right light. It never dawned on me that this lump Mom and Dad were monitoring could have otherworldly origins. However, as of a couple days ago it started to affect how I closed my eye to sleep, and my eye got all itchy and irritated. It was then that I realized what the Aliens had done to me one year ago! They didn’t want my skin tag. That was just a ruse to distract me from their real intentions to literally read my thoughts!

It’s no secret that I keep meticulous notes in my “Dog Ufologist Research Notebook.” Of course the extraterrestrials would want a closer look! I bet they used that implant in my eye to read my notes. Well look no further! Thanks to Dr. Heidi, that “cyst” is gone. I’m also happy to report that Mom and Dad are finally taking my research seriously, because I overheard them discussing sending the lump away for testing. I have no doubt that the scientists at MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network, would be more than interested in my Alien implant.

As for Dr. Doug, this only strengthens my suspicions that he is working for the Aliens. After all I’ve been abducted by UFOs twice while under his care. The first time it happened was when I was approximately 2 years old, and then again last year. You have to ask yourself is that a coincidence? Well this Dog Ufologist says, NO! Adding credence to my theory, he is suspiciously “away.” Hence the need to visit with my new best friend, Dr. Heidi, who by the way when we met complimented me on my perfect weight, excellent teeth, and strong heartbeat. Clearly she recognizes greatness when she sees it. I guess I’ll forgive her skepticism by insisting that the lump she removed was not an Alien implant but instead a common benign cyst.

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’m rather groggy from my surgery. I also need to figure out a new encryption code for my Dog Ufology Research Notebook that the Aliens won’t be able to understand.