Asa here. I’d like to tell you about the long strange trip I recently took. It all started one morning when Mom and Dad forgot to feed me breakfast. Thankfully they remembered to feed Chuck Billy because he would have thrown quite the tantrum. I’m more patient than he is, so I just happily followed Mom and Dad around the kitchen trying to give them a subtle reminder. Eventually I gave up though, and curled up to take a nap under the kitchen table.

Next thing I know Mom and Dad are loading me into the car. We must be going to brunch! Too bad Chuck Billy already ate his breakfast, because they left him at home. It just goes to prove being patient has it’s rewards. I couldn’t help but notice though that Mom and Dad were giving off a weird vibe. It was as if they were nervous about going for brunch? At least they had me to calm them.

After what seemed like a very long car ride, we finally arrived at a new place called the veterinary dental care center. I instantly forgot about brunch, and looked forward to meeting new friends. When I walked in I was greeted with a big “this must be Asa!” and ushered into my own room. There I met a very nice vet tech, Laura, and Dr. Wheeler, who started asking all sorts of questions. They seemed a bit nosey for someone we just met. Anyways, for some reason they were focused on my mouth. Well now that you mention it, one of my teeth has been feeling a big weird lately. But I’m not one to complain, so I just kept my discomfort to myself.

Dr. Wheeler said something about I may need a root canal. This had me confused. What do the delicious treats I dig out of the ground and a place to go swimming have to do with my teeth, or each other for that matter? I really wish Chuck Billy was here with me. He’s smarter at interpreting the weird things that humans talk about. Then my new best friend said something about hopefully I would just need bonding. Dr. Wheeler, I know we just met, but I would love to bond with you! And with that, my other new best friend Laura, took my leash and we headed down the hallway together. I glanced back to see if Mom and Dad noticed I was walking at a happy heel with my new best friend. Guess they’re just going to have to go to brunch without me.

This is when things took an exciting turn. My new best friends shaved a small spot on my front leg. Was I finally going to get the tattoo I always wanted? Every rock star needs a tattoo, you know! I must have fallen asleep daydreaming about what kind of a tattoo I would get.

I’m not sure how long I was dreaming, but when I woke up I felt really groggy. They must have brought me to one of those wild parties bands are known for throwing. I just wish I remembered it. I tried to stand up, but the best I could do was slide down and melt into the floor. I could hear my new friends cooing, so I better remember this move to add to my act. After awhile they lead me staggering back to the room where I last saw Mom and Dad. Is this what being drunk feels like? How do rock stars do this all the time?

As I reconsidered my career ambitions, I drifted in and out of listening to the conversation Mom and Dad were having with Dr. Wheeler. He said something about not needing a root canal, just bonding. I think he also said no more bones! But added my soft squeaky ball was ok. He also revealed my secret habit of chewing the underside of my tongue. Would you believe he took a picture of it to show to his class? The paparazzi are relentless! Wait until I tell Chuck Billy that my fans even find the inside of my mouth interesting!

And on that note, I headed home. Dr. Wheeler and Laura, it was nice bonding with you over my tooth. I never did get that brunch, or the tattoo I was dreaming about, but have to admit since meeting you my mouth feels a whole lot better!