Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is B-Boy Chuck Waggin’, and this is my brother B-Boy Sugar Winkx! I bet you’re wondering about our new alter egos. For the past week while Mom, Asa and I recovered from various medical issues, we had a lot of time on our paws to watch the Olympics. So rather than give a typical update, we decided to use the scoring system for the newest Olympic event, breakdancing, or Breaking as the cool athletes call it. Serving as judge is Dad, because he had the unenviable task of taking care of us the past week, and it is only right to let him decide who was the Best Patient in our Golden Games.
Originality
B-Girl Mom: First off, if you’re wondering why Mom didn’t get a cool breakdancing name, let’s face it, she isn’t as cool as Asa or myself. Not to mention, after her attempt at a cartwheel a few weeks ago, it is probably best not to encourage breakdancing! Now on to the first category of Originality! Although Mom’s diagnosis was very much a surprise to her, it was foreseeable. So no points for Originality. She really could have put more effort into her diagnosis to wow the judge.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: My hot spot was definitely not a surprise, given the humid, damp weather we’ve been experiencing. Therefore Dad did not award me any points for Originality either. I barked foul, because this is the first hot spot I’ve had in years. But as the only judge, he got the final say. But don’t worry, I have a few tricks planned for this event!
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: He is in it to win it as the Golden Games’ Best Patient, with his surprise come from behind the pack burst infected abscess! No one saw that coming! He scored big points for his Originality.
Execution
B-Girl Mom: Again, nothing of note here in terms of execution. She received a call from the hospital to schedule the procedure. So everyone knew the why, when and where. A very routine performance overall.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: Now here is where I shine. I took a small hot spot, and made it a lot bigger so that everyone would notice it. From previous competitions, Dad instantly recognized my signature move. However, he seemed rather unimpressed with my initial Execution.
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: Subtle but very powerful in his Execution, B-Boy Sugar Winkx kept his abscess a secret until the very last moment, then exploded with power. But did he let this obvious high score go to his head? No! He acted like nothing was different, despite making our kitchen look like something out of a horror movie, before being whisked off to the animal hospital.
Technicality
B-Girl Mom: Now here is where recovery comes into the Golden Games’ Best Patient event. Once again Mom is going text book, following the known side effects for the procedure, with only a few that were outliers from the norm. Playing it safe, was definitely appreciated by Judge Dad.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: Tired of being in the middle of the pack in this race for Gold, and realizing that my hot spot was almost healed, I made my own power move mid-week by reopening the wound! I showed amazing timing and flexibility getting around my cone. Yet surprisingly though, this did not earn Judge Dad’s praises, and ended up costing me more points.
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: Once again I underestimated my opponent, whose floor work was truly inspired. He somehow managed to wake Judge Dad with the vomit alarm! Longtime followers know that our Dad has a reputation to sleep through anything. Yet there he was sometime in the night, whisking Asa, oops, I mean B-Boy Sugar Winkx, outside to avoid making a mess on the floor. Although Dad isn’t in this competition, he deserved the points for his epic sprint in this round, but he awarded them to B-Boy Sugar Winkx instead. Again, I barked foul, and accused my fellow competitor of a doping scandal, because his upset tummy was clearly caused by the strong antibiotic he is on for his wound.
Vocabulary
B-Girl Mom: In breakdancing, Vocabulary is the variety of skills / moves a dancer demonstrates. Here, Judge Dad went the more traditional definition of the word. Mom scored strong here, because those previously mentioned side effects were rather bad, and she gets cranky when in pain. I cannot repeat the Vocabulary Mom used, but let’s just say it was more colorful than usual.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: I also scored high in Vocabulary, because I realized my bark is a lot louder when in the cone. Combine that with Dad being 100% in charge of fulfilling my routine and every wish, and I had a lot to say to keep him on schedule.
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: Never known to bark except on the rare occasion, Asa’s Vocabulary is rather small. So he did not score any points here, but also did not lose points for being quiet. He simply gained Judge Dad’s appreciation for being such an agreeable patient, especially when Dad had to concentrate for work.
Musicality
B-Girl Mom: This is where our Golden Game of Best Patient comes to a close. Judge Dad breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Mom listening to her beloved Bon Jovi again. A true sign that she is feeling better, especially when singing along.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: By default I should win this round, because I don’t have time for music! Healing is serious business!
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: But of course, Asa, AKA B-Boy Sugar Winkx won Musicality. Not because he’s a rock star. But because we all appreciated this was one of the longest stretches he’s ever gone through NOT singing Baby Shark! We were nervous when watching the Olympic Surfing, that he’d be inspired to sing a few choruses of this annoying song. However, instead, he just quietly watched with us.
Medal Presentation in Golden Games’ Best Patient Event
B-Girl Mom: Bronze for her predictable performance.
B-Boy Chuck Waggin’: Silver for displaying signature moves.
B-Boy Sugar Winkx: Gold for showcasing a lot of character.
