As a Cat Conspiracy Theorist, for years now I’ve been warning dogs about the dangers of Santa’s secret spies, who report back on our missteps during the year. However, it was recently brought to my attention that Christmas cats are even more dangerous than I realize. In fact, they may eat you!

According to Icelandic folklore, the Jólakötturinn, or Yule Cat, will eat children who did not receive new clothes, specifically socks, for Christmas! Now I’m not talking your run-of-the-mill pet cat, lurking in our homes. I’m talking about a huge cat that towers above houses, and peers through windows to spy on you!

Folklorists speculate that this tradition began in the 19th century by farmers as an incentive for their children to finish processing the autumn wool for clothing. Children who finished their chores before Christmas would receive new clothes as gifts. However, if you’re so lazy that you didn’t earn yourself a new pair of socks, the Yule Cat will eat you! The threat of becoming a cat treat also applies to naughty kids too. So staying off the naughty list takes on even greater importance in Iceland.

Now as with all traditions, there is a loophole. You can still be lazy, but avoid being eaten by the ginormous cat if someone is kind enough to give you socks. This gift also saves the giver of the socks from this judgmental cat. Therefore, in spirit of generosity I gave Asa a pair of warm fuzzy socks, and he in return gave me a pair. Thus saving us from this fiendish feline. However, if you don’t believe me, I recommend you listen to the Yule Cat poem by Jóhannes úr Kötlum, as performed by Icelandic superstar Bjork.