Hi Chuck Billy! It’s me, Asa, here with our monthly check in report! First off, let me get a little business out of the way. Would it be possible for you to take out your new snow making machine and send us some? It’s not just because I would like to celebrate Christmas in July, but also to help cool off all of our friends from the unrelenting heat they’ve been experiencing.

Speaking of your new hobbies, I know you’re all about trying to make dinner time sooner for everyone. Not to doubt you or anything, but on Wednesday did making the Earth spin between 1.3 and 1.5 milliseconds faster than the standard 86,400 seconds that make up a 24-hour day, really make a difference for dinner time? Thanks for the advance warning that you and your friends in the Rainbow Bridge Office will be trying this experiment again on July 22 and August 5, 2025. I’ll be sure to hang on tight those days in case you get it spinning too fast. By the way, “they” may be onto your little experiment, because I saw scientists discussing it on the news.

So ummm, about dinner, I’m sorry I accidentally ate from your bowl last week. Dad grabbed it out of habit. It’s in the same spot where you left it that last morning at home. I guess it doesn’t matter if I use it occasionally now. Dinner did taste better in it. Hmmmm, what else…oh yes, speaking of dinner, Mom found a small tuft of your fur in your favorite spot in the kitchen. It was stuck in the crevice of the corner cabinet. You always did like sitting there supervising meal prep. Mom left your fur there. Just like how she left Lemmy’s drool mark on the windowsill.

Mom is also taking a different small tuft of your fur with her to Star Island today. She plans to release it on Caswell’s Peak (East Rock), so you can dance on the wind at this special place. I know, I know, you’re more of a runner than a dancer, but please humor Mom here. She misses you a lot. And yes, I remember your rule that the pack must stay together. However, as you know, dogs aren’t allowed on Star Island, even me despite being named after one of their prominent 19th century citizens. Therefore, sadly I can’t go with her on this important mission. Dad can’t go either, because someone has to be here to give me my eyedrops and medicine on time. Apparently the boat schedule isn’t accommodating to mine, and taking it over as a pirate isn’t an option. Anyways, I know in my heart that you’ll be with Mom in spirit every step of the way today. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find where that rumored pirate treasure is hidden at the Isles of Shoals!

Oh I almost forgot the BIG news! Your Chuckle Berry Tree gave us the most cherries ever! Ok, so that wasn’t hard to beat because the record before was one cherry a few years ago. But boy did your tree top that! It grew over a dozen cherries! Remember that silly song I use to sing to you, as you sat guarding your tree from deer? You know, that parody of The Runaways’ “Cherry Bomb”?

Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom
I’m your Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch – Chuckle Bear!

I know, I know, you never liked that nickname of Chuckle Bear. But you have to admit the song is catchy! Maybe I’ll finish writing the lyrics one of these days. I promise I will continue with Asa’s World Tour of Maine! I did a couple stops that I haven’t shared yet. I want to tell everyone about all the places we visited on that trip you planned for us first. And don’t worry, after I finish going over the data, I will share those special top secret investigations I did for you while in New York.

I guess that’s all the news for this month. Hard to believe tomorrow marks 7 months without you here. We talk about you daily though, so in a way it does feel like you just stepped out of the room for a moment, a very long moment. Speaking of stepping out of the room, I have to go see Mom off on her big adventure today! Please watch over her.