Last week Chuck Billy wrote a rather mean-spirited post making fun of my need to remind myself left paw, right paw, while walking on ice. Thankfully the ice on the road has melted, but we are facing another bitter blast of arctic cold this weekend. Now that I no longer have to worry about slipping, I can focus my attention on my cold paws, to which I dedicate my newest song parody. Presenting the walking song anthem for the winter of 2022, “Freezin’ My Paws,” written to the tune of the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive.”
Well, you can tell by the way I do my walk,
It’s an arctic blast, no time to talk.
Leash is on, and paws not warm,
I’ve regretted goin’ out since early morn.
And now it’s NOT all right. Not OK.
And I don’t want to walk today.
We can’t try to understand
The wind chill temp’s effect on land.
Whether you’re a Poodle
Or whether you’re a Doodle,
We’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Feel the records breakin’
I’m shiverin’ shakin’,
And we’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws. Oh when we walk!
Well, now, temp is low and I want high,
And if I can’t get warm, I’m going to cry.
Mom, please take off your walkin’ shoes.
It is freezin’ here, don’t you watch the news?
You know it’s NOT all right. Not OK.
I want to walk another day.
We can’t try to understand
The wind chill temp’s effect on land.
Whether you’re a Poodle
Or whether you’re a Doodle,
We’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Feel the records breakin’
And shiverin’ shakin’,
And we’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws!
Ain’t goin’ nowhere. Somebody thaw me.
Somebody thaw me, yeah.
Ain’t goin’ nowhere. Somebody thaw me, yeah.
Freezin’ our paws!
Well, you can tell by the way I do my walk,
It’s an arctic blast, no time to talk.
Leash is on, and paws not warm,
I’ve regretted goin’ out since early morn.
And now it’s NOT all right. Not OK.
I want to walk another day.
We can’t try to understand
The wind chill temp’s effect on land.
Whether you’re a Poodle
Or whether you’re a Doodle,
We’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Feel the records breakin’
And shiverin’ shakin’,
And we’re freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws, freezin’ our paws.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, freezin’ our paws!
Ain’t goin’ nowhere. Somebody thaw me.
Somebody thaw me, yeah.
Ain’t goin’ nowhere. Somebody thaw me, yeah.
We’re freezin’ our paws…
