The Coyote Brothers came strolling through our yard again. No doubt they were taking a shortcut after visiting that new Cottontail Rabbit restaurant that opened up in the thicket not too far from our property. Like most ne’er-do-wells, Coyotes don’t like showing their faces in daylight, and instead prefer do their deeds under the cover of darkness. So it was no surprise that I heard them howling the other night. What is surprising was that the following morning I found evidence that they brazenly walked along our fence line, and across our front yard. How do I know those tracks were them and not one of my neighbors, you ask? Let’s just say after eating at that new forest to belly restaurant, they left a telltale pile in my yard. Don’t they know we have a strict pick up your poop rule around here? If that’s not an act of defiance, I don’t know what is!
I must protect my homestead from these troublemakers. But how? They’ve never come so close to our house before. In the past the Coyotes have peered menacingly out from our woods, but were never bold enough to strut on through the open part of our yard. Last winter I was able to keep them at bay with my barking. But it won’t take them long to realize I’m all bark and no bite. Once again it is time to search the internet to find the solution for all of life’s problems!
One site told me the best way to get rid of Coyotes is to remove their food source. Looking around at the frozen tundra that is my yard, I don’t see any tasty options. And I’m guessing those Rabbits have already figured out that moving into our neighbor’s thicket was a mistake. However, they don’t seem to be in any hurry to move. I better go warn my neighbor Chenille that she and her sister need to be careful. Although she likes to bark tough and boss Asa around, at under 15 pounds I don’t think she’s much of a threat to the Coyote Brothers. Instead, I can see them mistaking her for a midnight snack. But that’s her yard, not ours, so I’m not sure what is drawing them here.
Another website recommended using traps. HA! I can tell you right now how that would turn out – I’d trap Asa! He loves curling up in other dogs’ crates for a nap, especially mine, so I doubt a Coyote’s crate would be any different to him. Besides, what do I do with a Coyote if I do catch one? It’s illegal to relocate them, and I’m guessing Coyotes are not a fan of a time out. A third website suggested making a lot of noise to keep them away. I have no doubt that Mom and Asa’s singing would work. However, I feel like I’m replacing one problem with another far more annoying one. Luckily before I gave Asa the ok to make every day an audition for The Voice, I found my solution.
As usual, I was overthinking this whole situation! A fourth website recommended using Wolf urine to scent mark our territory. Finally something I can do! After all, I am a Golden Wolf and Asa fancies himself to be a Dire Wolf! Who knew it would be so simple? This is way better than the article I found by the Humane Society of the United States entitled, “Coyote Hazing Guidelines.” Hazing?! I don’t want them to join a fraternity! I want them to leave my yard alone!
Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have to drink a lot of water if I’m going to scent mark my entire yard. At least Asa can help me. I just wish he would put down that squeaky toy and look more menacing when he does it!
