Dognabit! The Deer have gone too far this time!  Oops, sorry for my potty mouth barking.  It is just that the Deer delinquents who have been hanging around in my yard have really crossed the line.  They vandalized MY tree AND then had the nerve to snort at ME like I was the one up to no good!  Back in May Dad planted a William’s Pride Apple Tree in my honor.  Ok, so this sapling looks more like a stick at this point than a tree.  However, someday it will be a majestic apple tree…without branches!  The Deer snapped off some of the branches in a reckless act of vandalism.  Who does that to a Dog’s tree?!  It doesn’t even have apples yet!  Wasn’t eating most of the leaves off of it enough damage?  Heck, we have a whole yard full of trees that I don’t mind sharing.  Why did they pick on mine?  Deer are jerks!

That’s what happens for listening to Mom and being “nice” to them.  Every evening the three Deer loiter in my yard like they own the place, eating our leaves, flowers, and fruit.  I try my best by barking out the window telling them in no uncertain terms that they are trespassing.  However being ne’er-do-wells, they just ignore me.  Heck, once their ringleader looked right at me, snorted and stomped her hoof, before skipping back into the woods.  What a punk!  I knew right then and there no more Mr. Nice Guy.  I needed to lay down the law!  But would you believe Mom stopped Dad from letting me outside and he agreed?  Ok, so in Dad’s defense, he may have been trying to protect me from embarassing myself.  There was that time when I thought I chased the Deer away and I started celebrating by playing like a puppy, only to realize they were laughing at me from the tree line.  But I learned my lesson, and I’m ready to defend my yard!

But how?  Asa is no help.  While I bark myself hoarse, he just stands there wagging his tail.  Heck, during their most recent invasion, Asa didn’t even get up and look out the window.  Foolish me too thought he would at least help when I walked the perimeter of our fence.  Nope.  Asa’s idea of “helping” was eating the wild strawberries growing in that area.  Well take that Deer!  There are less wild strawberries for you to eat!  Oh who am I fooling?  You may have won this battle, you jerks.  But this war isn’t over!