Patrol log: Wednesday, March 6, 2024, approximately 6:00 AM. While on routine patrol, I received a vandalism report from the Vole family. They found traces of digging in the backyard, unrelated to their usual dirt mounds. After examining the area, I agreed that the disturbed soil in multiple areas within the fenced perimeter was unusual. After further interviewing the Voles, I rounded up the usual suspects to begin my investigation.
Mr. Squirrel: This would not be the first time Mr. Squirrel was caught digging in my yard. However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt that after the long winter, perhaps he had misplaced the acorns he stored in our yard, and therefore the vandalism was not intentional? It would even explain the numerous areas of disturbance in the yard, because everyone knows Mr. Squirrel is easily distracted. However, after examining the digging sample he provided, I knew he was not my suspect. Although his squirrelly behavior and refusing to pose in the lineup for the Vole family, does lead me to believe he should be watched.
Chippy Chipmunk: Another frequent visitor to our yard, that has been caught digging in the past and vandalizing our vegetable garden, is Asa’s friend, Chippy Chipmunk. He, too, was immediately released though. The damage did not match the usual holes he tunnels into our yard to use for his secret lair. Also chipmunks do not burry acorns like squirrels, and the claw scratches were too big compared to his little body.
Tom Turkey: Recently spotted in our woods was Tom Turkey. This is mating season for turkeys, and perhaps this young adolescent male was letting off some steam after being turned down again. Or more likely he was foraging for food by digging, because nothing hits the spot than a few early spring grubs. Problem is the damage occurred at night, and wild turkeys are not nocturnal creatures. Turkeys are also rather lazy, and the effort to fly over our fence into our yard doesn’t happen often, except when caught off-guard by me on woodlot patrol.
Sylvester Skunk: A newcomer to our neighborhood is Sylvester Skunk, also known as Sly. He took up residence in the brush pile outback in the late fall, but has not been seen for months. A solitary soul, with a taste for grubs, I can picture him sneaking into my yard under the cover of darkness to enjoy a midnight snack. Problem is Sly is very reactionary, and can cause a big stink if questioning is not done delicately. I need to proceed with caution.
Asa: Ordinarily Asa would be my prime suspect for these scratch marks. Whether it is slamming on the brakes too quickly during fetch, taking off fast with a case of the zoomies, or a spontaneous happy dance, Asa has been known to tear up the lawn in our backyard on numerous occasions. Problem is my mischievous brother has the perfect alibi – Mom and Dad! Due to the muddy conditions in the backyard, we have been on a weather delay for fetch. In addition, even for quick trips out these past few days, Asa has been tethered to Mom or Dad making running impossible. Also although Asa was recently spotted wandering around the house at night, he’d never venture outside without one of us, especially after dark. So alas, I had to release him after questioning.
At this time the case remains open.
