Dad and Mom, we need to have a little talk about respect in the workplace. Specifically, how many times must I remind you not to call me by my embarrassing nickname when I am working? I would never call you something silly in front of your coworkers. But yet you do not give me the same courtesy!

Oh I see that laugh you’re trying to stifle, Mom! You think it’s funny when earlier this week you welcomed two maintenance workers into our home to fix our pellet stove, and Dad humiliated me in front of them by calling me “Chuckles!” It’s bad enough he felt the need to micromanage my work, by telling me to stop barking at them. But did he have to call me Chuckles while he was at it! How, as a guard dog, am I suppose to show I mean business when it comes to protecting my home and family, if you call me by my pet name! You totally ruined my vibe, and gave me no choice but to stew in silence while they worked. Then adding insult to injury, when leaving one of the workers put on the biggest smile and said, “Bye Chuckles!”

Oh and Asa, speaking of vibes, don’t think you’re off the hook here for one minute either! As my patrol partner, it is your job to back me up, with equally menacing barking! Yet instead, you went into your default mode of playing “good dog / bad dog!” By happily wagging your tail, and endearing yourself to these two strangers in our home, you left me all alone in barking to protect it!