For the entire month of December Dogs will be faced with all sorts of temptations that we must resist if we want to be on Santa’s, and more importantly Mom’s, Nice List.  I have to admit Asa did a really good job with the Christmas Obstacle Course of Temptation that Mom set up last year.  He avoided chewing on the tree, and Mom only lost one ornament to an overenthusiastic tail.  Asa even managed to leave the wrapped presents under the tree alone, a test which when I was a puppy failed miserably.  Who can resist peeking, not to mention the awesome crinkling sound wrapping paper makes when shredded?  Anyways as Dogs the amount of presents we receive on Christmas morning depends on our willpower to resist these temptations that our Humans set up in our homes every December.  A daunting test yes, but don’t give up hope!  You can endure the trials and tribulations of Christmas by following my useful survival guide for Dogs:

Christmas Trees:  Whereas most of the year Humans show little appreciation for trees, for one month a year pine trees are suddenly honored guests in our homes.  Luckily in our house this “tree” looks like a pine tree, but it definitely doesn’t smell like one, much less taste like one.  Please don’t ask me how I know this about the taste.  In the past I’ve debated breaking the news to Mom that her Christmas tree isn’t real, but I realized I can use this “tree” to better prepare Asa and myself for the challenges that lay ahead.  Because soon we will be visiting family and friends who have actual real trees precariously placed inside their homes.  Real or fake, under no circumstances can you chew on it!  In fact stay as far away from this tempting treat as you can!  Humans get very angry if the tree is missing a branch, or worse yet should happen to fall down.  And never, I repeat NEVER, use the tree to relieve nature’s call!  Even if your Human has been distracted with online shopping for hours and hasn’t noticed your pleas to go out, just don’t do it.

Ornaments:  Now this tree will most likely be covered in balls.  But these are not the balls that Dogs play fetch with.  No, these shiny ornaments are of great sentimental value, and Humans get quite upset if you decide to play with them.  Also, these balls can be dangerous because many are made of glass.  Why would they possibly make glass balls?  Isn’t fetch with tennis balls challenging enough?  Glass balls are just preposterous!  But I digress…  Just leave the balls on the tree alone.  Beware of traps too.  I’ll never forget the Christmas when Mom decorated a “dog themed” tree with actual tennis balls!  How was I suppose to know they were for “decoration?”  Also try to be aware of your happy tail when near the Christmas tree.  One swoop and a cherished ornament could be ruined, and with it your Holiday fun.

Elves:  The best way I can describe Elves is that they are like living with Cats.  Elves will sit unmoving in various locations around our homes, silently staring at you long enough to give you an unsettled feeling, and judging your every move.  But do not react!  As with the Cats, you must avoid the temptation to chase Elves, or bad things will happen.  For you see, Elves work for Santa.  They watch and study our behavior, and Santa uses this information from Elves to compile a list of who is nice and naughty.  So if you want presents on Christmas morning, you must at all times be vigilant to behave because Elves are watching you from dark corners and overhead on mantles.  The amount of squeaky toys you receive this Christmas will depend on it!

Santa: Santa is by far the greatest obstacle Dogs must contend with if we want to have a merry Christmas.  For 364 days a year it is required that we protect our home from intruders.  Especially those who appear in the middle of the night after everyone has gone to bed.  But one night a year, on December 24, under no circumstances are we to defend our family’s safety from Santa; despite the fact that he will come sneaking in unannounced with a large bag and eat our cookies!  Now I know what you are thinking.  This goes against all your instincts.  Yes, any other day of the year Dogs are rewarded and hailed as heroes for stopping intruders.  But for some reason Humans like the old guy sneaking around once a year, and since Santa brings squeaky toys, tennis balls and treats, we must remember our training on the polite greeting of guests.

I can’t possibly prepare Dogs for every temptation you may face this December.  So I guess overall the best bit of advice I can share with you is whenever you enter a room do what I do – chant the following mantra: “leave it, leave it, leave it,” over and over again in your head from now until the end of the month.  Be strong!  Resist temptation!  And if successful on Christmas morning hopefully you will find a big pile of presents under the tree just for you!