Asa here. As Chuck Billy revealed earlier this week, I am on a diet. After years of being a lean, mean fetching machine, the treats have caught up to me. Now instead of my usual full portion of kibble I find it slightly smaller with extra green beans to keep my grumbly tummy at bay, and I’m getting healthy veggies as treats instead of tempting fatty and sugary ones. But will I complain? Never! I will do what I do best. I will write a song about it! Here is my call to action for all dogs currently faced with a diet, set to the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive!” Because no matter how long it takes to shed these pounds, I WILL survive!
When I was a pup, I was a skinny guy
Kept thinking I could eat whatever treat that caught my eye
But then those treats made me gain weight, they have finally done me wrong
And I wrote this song
‘Cause monologues take too long
I’m on a diet
And won’t be quiet
I’ll eat my green beans, ’cause I know Mom isn’t trying to be mean
I should’ve locked up all those cookies, I should’ve thrown away the key
If I’d known for just one second it would be green beans for me
Go on now, go, for one more walk
No turnin’ around now
‘Cause I’ve got pounds to lose, let’s walk!
I can’t believe you tired to tempt me with cookies
That cookie crumbled!
You think I’d see a treat and cry?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know I’ll be fed, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all veggies to eat
No more silly little treats, and I’ll survive
I will survive, hey, hey!
It took all the strength I had not to beg for more
Kept trying hard to resist car rides to the dog treat store
And I spent oh-so many nights just dreaming of the foods I loved
I used to bark
But now I look into my bowl, and surprised to see
There’s something new
I’ve got a whole new type of food that I can’t wait to chew
And if you feel like dropping treats it just won’t bother me
‘Cause now I’m saving all my snackin’ for healthy foods to set me free
Go on now, go, for one more walk
No turnin’ around now
‘Cause I’ve got pounds to lose, let’s walk!
I can’t believe you tired to tempt me with cookies
That cookie crumbled!
You think I’d see a treat and cry?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know I’ll be fed, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all veggies to eat
No more silly little treats, and I’ll survive
I will survive, Oh!
Go on now, go, for one more walk
No turnin’ around now
‘Cause I’ve got pounds to lose, let’s walk!
I can’t believe you tired to tempt me with cookies
That cookie crumbled!
You think I’d see a treat and cry?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know I’ll be fed, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all veggies to eat
No more silly little treats, and I’ll survive
I will survive
I will survive!
