This weekend Metallica will be taking their M72 World Tour to New England. Did my manager, Chuck Billy, arrange for an invitation from the band for me to join them on stage? No! Chuck Billy didn’t even get me a single show ticket! Such a pity because I worked really hard to write my first parody of one of their songs. I guess I shouldn’t let it go to waste though. So here is my parody of Metallica’s 1984 hit, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.”

Time to play in the yard in the early day
None would rather be inside
Barking fun, Goldens run, ’cause they love to play
Day or night, they take flight, fetch’s the only way
For a ball, it’s a thrill, why? They do not know
Squeaky sounds test prey drive
Dogs will dive, ball survives, throw after throw
Gone insane from the game, and yet they still go

For whom the ball squeaks
Dog chases on  
For whom the ball squeaks

Take a look at the ball just before it flies
It’s the millionth time you will
Goldens roar, massive roar fills the morning skies
Caught again in the air, this is why they try
When fetch will end for the win is a mystery
Hears the squeaking so loud
Crack of dawn, all day long, it is the time to play
Now you see what will be their entire day

For whom the ball squeaks
Dog chases on
For whom the ball squeaks