For years now Chuck Billy and I have been urging humans to “Be More Dog,” and I’m pleased to announce they’ve finally listened! However, Chuck Billy wishes he was a bit more specific. We never imagined it would be our love of the zoomies that humans would choose to emulate during these troubling times.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, “zoomies” is the explosion of energy dogs get, where they feel the need to run as fast as they can, often in circles. Yet because humans lack the athletic prowess of us dogs, and over all are lazy creatures, they put their own spin on it. Instead of running in circles in a state of pure bliss, they choose to have their zoomies in front of the computer. Oh, and because humans like to abbreviate everything, they prefer to call it “Zoom.”

But everyone is doing it! I first noticed this phenomenon when our Uncle arranged a meeting to practice zoom with us before he went live in front of his students. Shortly after that, our Aunt also mentioned that she enjoys her zoom sessions with the children in her class. Soon examples of humans having zoom came flooding in! There’s Grandma doing yoga zoom, and our church having zoom worship services. We even heard of one friend’s entire extended family getting together to zoom about the good old days, while sharing a meal remotely from their homes. Not to be outdone, Dad even bragged that he’s been doing zoom at work for years.

Now Chuck Billy is a stickler for the rules, and claims the humans’ version of the zoomies doesn’t count as being more dog because they tend to schedule it in advance and barely move farther than the distance of their screens. But as you know from our experience training Mom and Dad, I’m more of a free thinker. So I encourage humans to think outside of the zoomies and embrace this new form of zoom!

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have a zoom scheduled with my cousin Mushu. I just wish I didn’t need to wear these headphones, and could run with him instead.