Once again Mom and Dad are adhering to their “do as I say, not as a I do” rule.  Who are they to tell me what I cannot eat when they blatantly consume those exact foods in front of me!  Case in point, last night they took Asa and I along when they went to get ice cream.  Not only is it very rude to eat ice cream in front of a dog who’s on a diet, but it reached a whole new level of cruelty when I heard what Dad ordered!

Would you believe he got Mississippi Mudpie?  Yep, Dad ate frozen mud in front of me!  How many times have I been reprimanded for eating mud, much less playing in it, yet here is Dad paying money to eat it!  Doesn’t he know he could find delicious mud for free in our backyard near the garden sprinkler?  Oh sure, the ice cream stand’s mud is fancy because apparently they shipped it all the way from Mississippi.  But that doesn’t make it right for him to eat it in front of me!  Dad saw my obvious displeasure, and immediately tried to defend himself by saying it wasn’t actually mud and only ice cream.  Whether the mud is plain or mixed with ice cream doesn’t make a difference to me.  Mud is mud and he can’t deny it’s right in the name of what he ate!  Ice cream names don’t lie!  Before I could get over that shock, Mom made her disturbing choice for ice cream – Phantom Berry!  I can’t count how many hikes we have gone on where I wanted to sample an unknown berry growing in the woods and Mom made me stop.  Yet here at this ice cream stand she is willing to risk it and eat this unknown, phantom berry!

I quickly started scanning the names of all the flavors to see what other treats Mom and Dad are denying me.  Would you believe they sell a Gummy Worms in Dirt sundae?  I LOVE Dirt!  I can’t help but drool imagining it mixed in ice cream with worms.  I always wondered about the chewy consistency of worms, at least this ice cream stand cleared up that mystery.  Moose Tracks is a bit of a mystery to me too.  I’m not exactly sure what the moose stepped in and tracked to the ice cream stand, but I’m sure it is delicious!  As I continued reading I have to admit there were a few flavors that sounded rather disturbing.  I love hamburger as much as the next dog, but I’m pretty sure eating a Purple Cow is a bad idea.  And although I don’t want bears messing with my beehives, I’d never consider mixing Maine Black Bear into ice cream!  However, I have to admit Totally Turtle sounds intriguing.  Is it really the total turtle, shells and all?

All this talk about ice cream is making me hungry!  So long story short, once again Mom and Dad are definitely not leading by example, and breaking their very own rules.  I’m really not surprised actually.  I just wish they wouldn’t do it in front of me.  Oh and in case you’re wondering, I’m still on my diet. *sigh*