Recently our friend and fellow Mainer, Tater, challenged Asa to write a parody of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby.” So in honor of the glaze of ice from yesterday’s storm, Asa attempted to put his twist on this classic hit. However, a word of warning, this is Asa’s first attempt at a hip hop song, and he is way out of his comfort zone which usually includes Broadway show tunes, children’s songs, and ’80s hair bands. Hence why for those who are fans of the original, they will notice that Asa skipped a few verses and then fizzled out midway through. So without further ado, Tater here is “Ice Storm, Puppy.”
Yo, puppy
Let’s bark it
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
All right stop, your barking and listen
Ice is back, it’s a winter affliction
Suddenly there’s a stop in the action
Because you no longer have any traction
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don’t know
This is winter, where is the snow?
To the extreme temperatures go without warning
The sun turned to rain, and then froze over this morning
Fetch
Run out the door to go play
Then slide across yard thinking this isn’t okay
Deadly, when I’m slippin’ and slidin’
Wishin’ I wore skates then at least I’d be glidin’
Love it or leave it
Get out of my way
You’re now my stop target
I cannot sit / stay
This ice is a big problem
Yo, can’t solve it
Check out my leash as my Mom involves it
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Now that means there is no more ballin’
Or else you’ll be on all fours in your yard sprawlin’
Quick to the point, be careful walking
Or there will be videos that they’ll be mocking
Impossible to be quick and nimble
You’ll hit the fence and sound like a cymbal
And your humans will send you out solo
But have camera ready for a photo
Rollin’ in this icy glaze
I don’t think I’ll be playin’ for days
The Squirrels on standby
Waving just to say, “Hi”
Did you stop?
No, I just slid by
Kept on sliding ’cause I couldn’t stop
I bust through the fence and I’m heading to the next block
I need a sled
Yo, take heed, ’cause I’m NOT a lyrical poet
Maine’s my main scene just in case you didn’t know it
My town usually has more snow now
Enough to close the schools and to go plow
My style should be way more chill
Really big snow piles that give a thrill
But rain turned ice, this is a weird new concept
News make it hype and talk all about it
Yo, this ice is a big problem
I can’t solve it
Check out my leash as my Mom involves it
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Yo dog, ice get out of here
Woof Mother Nature
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
Ice storm, puppy
