Fun Fact: Chances are within 100 miles of where you are now, there has been a Bigfoot sighting. Or at least that’s what a show we watched during vacation claimed. So it wasn’t a surprise while hiking in the remote woods in Danforth, Maine, that Chuck Billy’s thoughts turned towards this shy and elusive creature. What did surprise me though was how silly Mom and Dad got on this hike. Not sure why, but Dad started singing the simple line, “Invisible Bigfoot,” to the tune of a certain moderately successful 1992 hit by the band King Missile. I will not use the name of this spoken word song, because this is a family friendly blog. But rest assured, the early 1990s was a strange time for music, to say the least. However, the more we hiked, the more Dad parodied that one line, and eventually a new version started to form in my head. Therefore, on the long drive back to our rental cottage, I wrote the following parody very loosely inspired by the original monologue set to reverberating guitars and keyboards. I dedicate my version to Invisible Bigfoot and all those searching for him who believe!
Invisible Bigfoot
Checked my trail cams this morning. Didn’t catch Bigfoot, again. This happens all the time; he’s invisible. No footprints or fur, just empty frames. Like he’s never even been here. But us Bigfoot hunters know the truth. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s got some trick that makes him disappear.
You can’t see him. You can’t hear him. But I know he’s right there, likely messing with my gear. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) Slipping away into thin air.
I set up bait in the forest. Waited all night long. Heard rustling and footsteps. But when I checked, he was gone. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) I swear I saw a blur.
Could that be him? But every single photo, just looks like a lens smear. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s like a ghost that plays in the trees.
Is he shifting dimensions? Or cloaking with ease? He’s in league with UFOs, can’t you see? (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) It’s like chasing the wind or a dream.
Some say he vibrates, on a higher plane. Like how UFOs cloak, with energy fields from space. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s raising his frequency, right out of our sight.
And that’s why I’ve never caught him, even late at night. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s got an ancient, otherworldly vibe.
Legends say he slips away with ease. Harnessing powers the Native tribes described. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) Just a flicker at the edge of your eye.
Once, I heard a whisper. Or was it the wind? Felt a tap on my shoulder. But saw nothing again. He left a footprint. Just one, in the mud. No tracks leading away. Like he just jumped into the void. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s got me running in circles all night.
He can touch you, but you’ll never see. He’s a legend hiding in plain sight! (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) With UFOs, he’s outta this world, alright.
I’ll keep on searching. But how do I find, a creature who’s mastered the art of the unseen? He’s out there, somewhere. In another inter-dimensional field. Living in the spaces, that the cameras never yield. (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot) He’s always just one step ahead.
Is it magic, science, or something in-between? Maybe he’s watching us instead? (Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot)The greatest hunter you’ve never met.
(Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot)
(Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot)
(Invisible Bigfoot, Invisible Bigfoot)
