Well this is embarassing.  It appears that despite being a renowned Dog Ufologist, I let my guard down and got abducted by a UFO again!  Yesterday started like any other day.  While Mom headed off for a walk with Asa, I patiently waited for Dad.  I’m happy to report that Dad is getting back to normal from his recent surgery.  So yesterday morning we enjoyed a slow, but happy walk together.  Nothing out of the ordinary, just the average neighborhood patrol.

My first clue that something was amiss was Mom forgot to feed us breakfast.  In typical fashion Asa was oblivious to this problem.  It was as if he ate without me knowing it.  But that’s just me being paranoid.  Why would Mom feed him and not me?  However, despite my frequent reminders that it was breakfast time, Mom and Dad ignored me.  In fact, they carried on with their routine as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  That is until Mom put on my good going visiting collar, and Dad loaded me up in the car.  Who cares about breakfast?  I was going on an adventure!

Much to my surprise we arrived at my veterinarian’s office.  I do admit I thought that was weird because it wasn’t time for my annual physical.  However, I LOVE Dr. Doug, so happily bounded inside to greet him and my other friends who work there.  This is where things got weird.  My receptionist friend took me out back to get weighed as usual.  However, rather than meet up with Mom and Dad in an exam room afterwards, she put me in a kennel.  But no worries.  There were other dogs arriving too, and I happily barked hello to each of them.  This must have been some sort of exclusive party for Dr. Doug’s favorite patients.  No wonder Asa didn’t get an invitation to attend!

Soon the vet tech guided me into a room and put me on a metal table.  How cool is that?  I never get to stand on the table at home!  This party is going to be AWESOME!  But for some reason I was suddenly very sleepy.  I happily drifted off to sleep on the table, while listening to the sounds of my friends talking, and thinking how I wish they’d shut off that bright light shining on me.  Hours later I woke up back in the kennel, and I knew instantly something was wrong.  I was abducted by Aliens again!

It had all the telltale signs of an Alien abduction: bright light, unexplained missing period of time, and worst yet…a medical procedure was conducted on me!  The last time this happened to me, I was around two years old and I awoke to find a microchip implanted between my shoulder blades, and…well let’s just say I can’t make my Mom a Grandma.  I quickly started sniffing to see what those nefarious Aliens did to me this time.  Would you believe they stole my skin tag!  I got that skin tag after I slid into the fence on Super Bowl Sunday.  The wound healed with a small flap of skin.  But over the summer the flap started getting bigger to the point it was almost the same size as the tip of Mom’s thumb.  I was so proud of it!  It even wiggled on my hind leg when I walked.  But now my prized possession is GONE!  What did those Aliens do to me?  Was the UFO still hovering over the vet’s office?  Is the vet’s office some sort of intergalactic portal?

Before I could bark my concerns to Dr. Doug, they were ushering me back to the reception area where Mom and Dad were waiting.  How could they have not noticed I was missing?  Surely I was gone for awhile.  They couldn’t have been standing there chatting that whole time?  That’s when it hit me.  Maybe Dad didn’t have surgery last week?  Maybe Dad was also abducted by a UFO?  I did hear him say something about mesh being implanted in him.  It is common for most UFO abductees to not want to share their experience for fear they’d get laughed at by nonbelievers.  That explains why Mom kept me away from Dad after his “surgery.”  She must have been in denial over Dad’s experience, and didn’t want me, a renowned Dog Ufologist, to know the truth!  Dad’s experience also explains why I was abducted yesterday.  Clearly by being at Dad’s bedside during his recovery I reminded the Aliens about their earlier experiments, and they wanted to do more tests on me!  How could I be so foolish as to let my guard down again!