I, Chuck Billy the great detective, has foolishly fallen victim to a ruse! On Saturday I was working an overtime shift patrolling our woods, when I spotted a suspicious red item in the snow. Not knowing what the item was, I sent my patrol sergeant, Dad, into the hazardous thicket far off the trail to retrieve it. Meanwhile, I secured the scene. After all it would only take a few ill-placed snow angels for Asa to destroy all the evidence in the freshly fallen snow. To everyone’s surprise, Dad retuned with a Jolly Ball! Clearly this dog toy did not land in that area on its own. Yet it wasn’t our toy, since we don’t own a Jolly Ball. How did it get lost deep in our woods in the thick underbrush, where none of the neighborhood dogs would dare go on their own? Clearly this was a case for Detective Chuck Billy!
The ball was slightly buried in the snow. So it was unclear how long it had been there. However, I immediately began examining the paw prints to compile a list of suspects. There were deer tracks, squirrel, fox…or perhaps raccoon, rabbit and coyote. I immediately eliminated the squirrels and rabbits as suspects. Anyone who has ever handled a Jolly Ball, even the small one we found, know it would be too heavy for a squirrel and too big for a rabbit to carry into the woods. Besides, after watching Asa try and fail to carry the Jolly Ball home, I knew it would take a sophisticated mind to know how to use the handle on the ball.
The Deer could have carried it away from a neighbor’s yard, but they don’t fit the criminal profile. I’m looking for someone who is a burglar, willing to sneak onto someone’s property and walk away with the stolen item. Deer never sneak into yards. They always brazenly trespass like they own the place. Besides, what would they want with a Jolly Ball? They’re more interested in quietly watching and judging us, as opposed to stealing our toys.
Raccoons have been known to steal the neighbor’s garbage in the night, but I see them more as petty criminals. This Jolly Ball falls under the category of larceny grand theft, due to it no doubt being the prized possession of considerable value for some neighborhood dog.
Therefore, that only leaves one logical culprit! One who prowls our yards under the cover of darkness. Who has no respect for dogs’ property. And having the strength and the intellect to carry it away to hide. A coyote must have hidden this Jolly Ball in my woods!
I can’t believe I was recently duped by the coyotes into trusting them! It was all part of their crime spree! As you recall after discovering their paw prints inside my fenced-in yard earlier this month, I actually thanked the coyotes, for helping with the overnight neighborhood patrol shift. How could I be so foolish as to fall for their trick to deceive me? They weren’t there to protect me from the mice hiding in my box garden. Nor where they doing a routine inspection of my poop barrel. They were there to steal MY beloved Bacon Scented Squeaky Ball! But I showed them! I keep my valuables locked up at night! And after this discovery, I strongly suggest you all do the same.
How could I be so foolish to think they were helping out with neighborhood patrol? They were searching the yards that night for things to steal! Worst yet, they tried to frame me by hiding the stolen Jolly Ball on my property! Rest assured coyotes, I’m onto your trickery!
Asa here. Can I interrupt for a moment? I know I’m not a great detective like you, Chuck Billy. But could it be you’re jumping to conclusions? What if a coyote just borrowed it to play, and got distracted? He could have accidentally left it in the woods, forgot where he placed it, but had the best intentions to return it. Perhaps it isn’t stolen at all? Maybe Santa left it under those pine trees as a gift for the coyotes, but they didn’t find it yet. Or maybe the coyotes wanted to surprise you with it as a thank you for your kind apology in that recent post. I think this case deserves a more thorough investigation!
