Twelve years ago today, on January 25, 2007, my big brother Lemmy came to live with Mom and Dad. For an eight week old puppy, he certainly had a huge project on his paws trying to train two first time dog owners. Boy were they unprepared for this little guy! Don’t get me wrong, Mom and Dad didn’t get Lemmy on a whim. In fact it was the exact opposite. They over-prepared for his arrival! For an entire year they read every book there was on training a puppy and specifically Golden Retrievers. I have to give Lemmy credit. He certainly worked hard to dispel those myths in training Mom and Dad!
I recently found their copy of The Art of Raising a Puppy, by the Monks of New Skete. You should see all the notes Dad wrote in the margins of that book! I’m laughing so hard it is difficult for me to even read it. Would you believe Dad wrote when training “use tennis ball/toy to have him sit. No treats!” The emphasis is Dad’s, not mine. He underlined it several times. Thanks to Lemmy’s patience and consistency though, by the time I arrived Mom and Dad were handing out treats like a Pez dispenser. Then there’s the humorous notes on being the pack leader. “Pup must learn his place in the pack.” Well I have to admit they did a pretty good job with that one, because since day one Lemmy was clearly the Alpha of our family.
However, the best notes are the ones on developing and practicing a “startle voice” for when the puppy is misbehaving. I have no idea what Mom and Dad’s rehearsed startle voice sounded like, but I bet they let out an unrehearsed squeal during a misadventure on day 2 with Lemmy. Especially when they realized that the solution to their problem wasn’t in any of their books. According to an email Mom sent his biological Mom, Momma Butter, they needed to know how to remove pine sap from all over their puppy. Luckily Momma Butter was a very patient and wise dog with a sense of humor when it came to new parents, and suggested covering him in peanut butter to remove the sap. I remember how Lemmy would laugh when telling me the story of the “Peanut Butter War Paint.” There’s no reference to this in their notes, but I’m pretty sure after bathing him in it this is what triggered Lemmy’s lifelong addiction to peanut butter!
Not only are Dad’s notes amusing, but Mom’s old photos also reveal how absolutely clueless they were when it came to taking care of a puppy. For example, take this innocent looking picture of Lemmy learning the command “sit,” while on a Winnie the Pooh blanket. Now let me explain Mom’s rationale for the blanket. She thought Lemmy would get cold sitting on the tile, so she gave him a blanket to play on. Well it didn’t take long for Lemmy to make it a blanket to play with! He would happily chew it and drag it around the kitchen, then wonder why Mom kept taking it away. Talk about a mixed message!
Another confusing message about his place in the family can be seen in this photo of Lemmy trapped behind a wall of boxes. Apparently not only was furniture off limits to dogs back then, Mom and Dad didn’t want him in the living room until he was housebroken. However, they didn’t have a gate in those early days. Therefore, in a misguided attempt to block his access, Dad had the brilliant idea of making a wall of boxes. Lemmy of course made it his mission to breach that wall, and based on the photos he was successful more often than not!
Then apparently sometime during that first week home, Mom and Dad got really overconfident and decided that training was so easy that even a monkey could do it. Or in this case two monkeys. Seriously, the book they are reading is Golden Retrievers for Dummies! Personally, I think Lemmy would have had a much easier time if he was being raised by monkeys.
By the end of the week Lemmy couldn’t take Mom and Dad’s ridiculousness any longer, and decided to take matters into his own paws. In fact, there is a photo of the precise moment when Lemmy realized he was smarter than Mom and Dad and took charge of the situation. Needless to say Mom and Dad had quite a learning curve when Lemmy first arrived home. But thanks to his patience and persistence, Lemmy was able to train them to the best of his abilities. Did he make a few mistakes along the way? Yes. But thanks to his hard work, Lemmy laid the important groundwork for Asa and I to continue their training today. Happy Gotcha Day Lemmy! We’ll see you at the end of the trail, until then we’ll continue the good work you started training Mom and Dad.
