As a renowned Dog Ufologist you’d think I’d be welcomed everywhere to conduct my important research. Sadly this is not the case. In fact, some places go out of their way to ban all dogs, just to prevent me from investigating. Such is the case with America’s Stonehenge in Salem, New Hampshire, with their no dogs allowed policy. But I found loophole! There are alpacas on the property, so I sent Llily Llama in undercover to explore it for me! In case you’re wondering what the difference is, llamas tend to be taller than alpacas. According to my Google search, “Alpacas are very gentle and shy, while llamas are very confident and brave animals.” Well that bravery sure came in useful with Llily Llama on assignment!
America’s Stonehenge, not to be confused with the monument built in 1980 by a wealthy businessman in Elberton, Georgia, is an archaeological site consisting of stone chambers, walls, and monoliths of unknown origins in Salem, New Hampshire. Some argue it was created by Native Americans thousands of years ago. Others say it is an example of traditional farming practices in the 18th and 19th centuries. Then there are some who claim that these rock formations are of pre-Columbian European origin, made by industrious Irish Monks visiting the property in the 11th century. In 1937, William Goodwin named the property “Mystery Hill,” and spent decades exploring it. In the 1950s it was sold to the Stone family, who opened it as a roadside attraction for tourists to draw their own conclusions. They rebranded the name as “America’s Stonehenge” in 1982 to reinforce the idea that it is an ancient archaeological site, and today the Stone family continues to welcome people (not dogs) to explore the grounds.
To “help” visitors understand his pre-Columbian Irish Monks theory, William Goodwin spent decades in the early 20th century rearranging some stones that had been moved over centuries of use. After all, legend has it that in the 1700s the Pattee family used the stone structures found there as the foundations for their home and outbuildings. Who can blame them? This is New England where farmers used the plentiful rocks as a variety of building materials, and would definitely reuse structures that they found. This land was also quarried in the 1800s, so of course they disrupted some of the stones. Goodwin was just “restoring” the original structures as he envisioned them in the 1930s. Archeologists did find evidence that Native Americans used the land for thousands of years before the Pattee family. What haven’t they found? No credible evidence of pre-Columbian European artifacts on the property. Or at least evidence that scholars accept as proof. There are more recent claims that Phoenician writing has been found proving they visited before the Irish Monks, but there are skeptics about that too.
This is where Llily Llama comes in! We instructed her to walk the grounds, using the map provided by the Stone family and draw her own conclusions. After saying a quick “hello” to the alpacas, she set off on her exploration.
To Llily’s untrained fabric eyes, many of the stone structures looked like traditional cellar holes and stone walls, typical of New England farmland.
However, she did admit the network of caves that led to the Oracle Chamber were interesting, but was not convinced of its ancient origins. When reviewing her photos, my expert eyes did notice evidence of squirrel ritual activity in one of the chambers with their use of pinecones and acorns. Everyone knows squirrels are an invasive species from another planet, so this does give the Oracle Cave a possible extraterrestrial origin.
Therefore I can’t help but disagree with Llily’s assessment that the “sacrificial table” is actually a colonial-era lye-leaching stone used in soap-making, apple pressing and other tasks. There must be more going on here!
However, that is what makes me the renowned Dog Ufologist, and not Llily Llama! If you would like to send your humans, or stuffed llamas, to draw their own conclusions, you can find everything you need to know about visiting at StonehengeUSA.Com. But just remember, no dogs allowed, even Dog Ufologists!
