As soon as I entered the garage my delicate nose was assaulted by the smell of death. Someone had died! But who? How? And most importantly where is the body? This smells like a case for Detective Chuck Billy!
I immediately secured he crime scene by locking Asa in the house. I know every great detective has a comical sidekick. However, I needed to prevent Asa from contaminating the crime scene. Try as he might, Asa just can’t resist rolling on dead things.
Next I began a systematic investigation of the garage to locate the victim. It only took a moment for me to find the poor deceased mouse caught in a mousetrap and hidden in a corner behind a stack of boxes. No one’s life should end in such a violent way and in that lonely place. Clearly this mouse was murdered!
Who could have committed this horrific act? Our doors were all shut and locked. I examined them myself on my last trip out before going to bed. It was at that moment I made the startling realization. This mouse was murdered by someone in my family! After all, we are the only ones who had access to this locked area of the house.
I immediately began compiling my list of suspects. I, of course, can be ruled out instantly because why would I go through the trouble of murdering a trespassing mouse? Clearly there are bigger threats lurking in my yard that need my undivided attention. I can also easily rule out Asa. He believes everyone is his friend, and therefore would never harm anyone. He may have even invited the mouse inside our garage to be out of the record breaking cold weather we are currently experiencing. Besides, Asa isn’t smart enough to operate a mousetrap. My next suspect is Mom. In the past Mom has trapped mice in those “have a heart” containers and released them back into the field. Oh sure, the mice always came back hungry and annoyed from that long walk from the field. However, could Mom have resorted to a more final means of removing a rogue mouse? Never! The fact that she is sad over this lost soul is proof enough to me of her innocence.
This just leaves one final and obvious suspect, Dad! It’s no coincidence that Dad is away visiting Pepere and Babci. He’s on the run trying to escape the authorities! I hope my grandparents know that aiding and abetting a murderer is a crime! Besides, a suspect always returns to the scene of the crime. It’s no use Pepere and Babci, you can’t hide Dad forever, he’ll be back!
Or perhaps it is both Mom and Dad who are partners in crime here? Mom sure seemed in a rush to hide any and all evidence by burying the victim moments after it’s discovery. I didn’t even have a chance to do an autopsy to determine the time of death. While attending the memorial service in our wildflower field, I vowed that someday I would get justice for the murdered mouse. But first I really need to go do my business, which is why I entered the garage to head outside in the first place!
