Chirp…chirp…chirp… ‘Tis the wind and nothing more… Quoth the Golden, “Nevermore!”

Gather round my friends, and I will share with you my cautionary tale of my descent into madness.  It all began just like any other day.  Mom and Dad headed out, and Asa and I were settling in for our morning nap.  That’s when I heard the sound.  I didn’t pay much attention to it that first time.  Perhaps I misheard it.  It was probably nothing.  Then as I settled into my bed, I heard it again: a chirp!

The house was silent as I listened to hear if it would happen again.  As Asa’s steady breathing lulled me into a false sense of safety, I began to drift off to sleep.  But then it happened once more!  This time I knew I wasn’t imagining it, because Asa roused from his slumber and looked at me.  We both waited in silence to hear the chirp again.  I began to count the time between chirps…one Mississippi…two Mississippi…three Mississippi…  Then it happened again.  Somewhere in our house something was chirping!  But where?

Instantly Asa and I sprang to our paws to investigate.  I ran to the backdoor.  Maybe Mom and Dad were trapped in the garage and needed our help?  Silence.  It happened again!  With Asa hot on my heels we ran to the basement door.  I held my breath as I listened.  Why was Asa panting so loudly?  In the distance we heard the single chirp again.  But it wasn’t coming from the basement.  It was coming from upstairs!  The one area of the house we are not allowed when Mom and Dad aren’t home!  What was up there?  Could it be a Bird trapped in the bedroom?  Could my nemesis, Mr. Squirrel, have broken in to our home and is planning my demise?  Was it simply Dad’s computer acting up?

I started to pace around the kitchen trying to come up with a plan.  That’s when the barking started.  Asa stood at the gate barring us from upstairs and would bark after each chirp.  It seemed like hours as I listened to the chirp echoed by Asa’s barking.  I tried settling into my crate, hoping that my soft bedding would dull the noise.  But on and on it went.  A perfectly timed chirp.  Evenly spaced so that it could not be ignored.  I flailed about on my back in misery.  Chirp…chirp…chirp…!  Make it stop!

Finally the tension was broken with the sound of the garage door opening.  Mom and Dad were home!  As they opened the backdoor we rushed passed them into the serenity of our backyard.  Oh sweet relief from that chirping!  Poor Asa had barked himself hoarse!  As Mom tried to coax Asa and me back into our prison, I heard Dad proclaim, “Sounds like one of the smoke detectors needs a new battery.”  Say what?!  Those torturous few hours could have been prevented by simply changing the batteries in our smoke detectors!

Dear readers, let my descent into madness be a cautionary tale for all of you.  Please change the batteries in your smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors twice a year when the clocks change time.  Not only can fresh batteries in these alarms alert your family in an emergency, they can also prevent your dogs from going crazy.  To this day I still hear echoing in my head the chirp…chirp…chirp…