Ok, don’t panic. But Asa may have been bitten by a radioactive spider and now has super powers. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s the only logical explanation as to why he is glowing. It all started when we were recently at a farm picking pumpkins. Asa wandered off to make friends with a ginormous spider. At the time the spider looked harmless enough. Besides, it distracted Asa so I got the full attention of all the people who wanted to pet us.
Ok, so Asa does have a crazy look in his eyes. But he always does!
Anyways, flash forward to that afternoon and I couldn’t help but notice Asa seemed a bit “brighter” than usual. And by brighter I certainly don’t mean intelligent! He’s still a goofball. But something was different.
Does Asa’s Golden glow seem a bit more pronounced than usual?
Well my suspicions were confirmed by evening when Asa is definitely glowing! Just look at him, he’s blue! My brother is next Spiderman!
I’m not crazy. Asa is clearly glowing blue, right?
So to better prepare myself for what to expect when Asa wakes up from his nap, I Googled “what are Spiderman’s powers.” THIS IS AWESOME! If my little brother is anything like the real Spiderman, we are going to have so much fun! According to what I read, Asa will have super speed. Watch out squirrels! There’s no escaping us now! Oh wait, but that will also mean he’ll be faster than me at fetch. I won’t be able to hog the ball anymore. No worries, I’m sure he’ll get distracted so I can still outrun him.
It also says Asa will have enhanced strength. No more waiting for Mom and Dad to let us outside. Asa will be able to knock the door down himself! We’ll have absolute freedom to come and go as we wish! But then who will pick up our poop and throw our ball? I’ll figure that out later.
Even more exciting is Asa will be able to cling to almost any surface! Our hikes are going to be so much more exciting with Asa clinging to the side of cliffs! Just imagine the GoPro footage! But what if he isn’t paying attention and accidentally knocks a rock on my head? Or worst yet, what if Dad doesn’t believe Asa’s super powers and insists on tethering us together for these cliff climbs! Mom will no doubt intervene.
It also said Asa will now have “spider-sense.” I can finally let my tail down and relax! I won’t have to be on watch dog duty 24/7! Asa’s spider-sense will alert us to any ne’er-do-wells that wanders into our yard! Oh but that will be problematic, because no where does it say that the bite from a radioactive spider will give Asa common sense. Now he’ll know that nefarious characters are lurking, but he’ll still want to befriend them, which is what got us into this situation in the first place!
This leaves me with two options. I can either sit Asa down and have a little chat with him that with great power comes great responsibility, and hope he understands. Or I can not mention he’s glowing, and hope that the little guy never figures out he has super powers. For the safety of humanity, I think I better choose the latter!
