After ten years of being a rising rock star, my new manager, squeaky stuffie Lilly Llama, thinks I need to change my approach. Instead of my previous manager, Angel Chuck Billy’s philosophy of write songs then tour, Tour, TOUR; Llily Llama believes I need a strategic business plan, based on academic research, and proven marketing models. Hence why she added producer Philip Sloth to my team.
Producer Philip Sloth thinks I need to understand the culture of heavy metal, in order to think more like a rock star. Therefore he’s been reading to me, Heavy Metal: A Cultural Sociology, by Deena Weinstein (Lexington Books, 1991). He may have a point, as Weinstein discusses, record companies in the 1980s, “evaluated bands not only in terms of their songwriting ability, but also in terms of their management, equipment, and financing.” (pg. 185) I never thought of that before! I have written a lot of songs, and up until recently Angel Chuck Billy was my manager, but I don’t have equipment or financing. Perhaps I do need to broaden my understanding?
I’ve spent a lot of time these past ten years writing parodies, but this book argues that only one third of fans understand the lyrics! “The research on lyrics indicates that adolescents neither attend to, know, nor understand the verbal texts of even their favorite songs.” Maybe my lyrics are too complicated? I’m more of the thinking dog’s version of Rush with my parodies, and I need to be more like Kiss with a rock and roll all night philosophy. Like many aging or drunk rock stars who forget the words, perhaps it is better that I sing scat or mumble the lyrics, while focusing on barking a few key words that my audience will recognize? That would speed up my song writing, and would make rehearsals easier if I don’t have to remember so many words.
Oh but then she discusses in addition to the fans liking the music, they need to like me! She argues this can be determined in the chanting of a band’s name just before the start of a concert. I’ve always assumed they knew my name, but I’ve never had any audience members to test that theory. Moving forward I need to pay attention to their chanting. “The duration of the chanting is a good indication of the esteem in which the band is held by the audience and of its own level of excitement.” (pg. 212) I wonder what is considered a good length of time for the chanting? Better yet how do I know when is a good time to run on stage? Personally a single person being in the general vicinity is enough to get me started.
Speaking of starting a show, Weinstein describes it as “the house lights go out, leaving the audience in a primordial darkness.” (pg. 212) That’s something I can definitely improve upon! Up until now my shows have all been matinees. It’s not even sunset yet, never mind primordial darkness. But Angel Chuck Billy had a strict rule that we needed to be home by dinner, and in bed no later than 9:00 PM. However, he did get that primordial part somewhat right, some of those places we visited on Asa’s World Tour of Maine were really remote with no other source of light than the sun. I guess matinees aren’t cool? Go figure?
Oh but I disagree with Weinstein’s thoughts on what defines heavy metal. “While keyboards do not violate the heavy metal code, other instruments such as horns, orchestral string instruments, or an accordion would break it.” (pg. 25) I strongly beg to differ! Weird Al Yankovic ROCKS on his accordion! I just need to find a way to make it more widely accepted like a guitar. Wait! I’ve got it! I’ll design an accordion guitar like they made keyboard guitars in the ’80s! Keytars are no doubt how keyboards gained their wider appeal. I can do the same for accordions! I’ll see if Llily Llama can find someone to make that “Accoritar” a reality, then teach me how to play it! Well that checks off equipment from the to-do list. I’m making progress already on my new accelerated approach to becoming a rock star!
