Prior to Mom’s surgery she received a packet of information from the hospital that Asa and I carefully reviewed. Included was the recommendation, “avoid making major purchases immediately following surgery.” No problem, or so I thought.

To fully appreciate this post you must understand that Mom is not one to make impulse purchases. In fact she’s the exact opposite where she’ll overthink things and usually talk herself out of buying something. When she does make a “frivolous purchase,” her words not mine, it usually is something for Asa and myself. That is why when an unexpected package got delivered during Mom’s convalescence, we were all surprised by its random contents – a blender, sneakers with cartoon puppies on them, and an Ancient Aliens coloring book!

Mom vaguely remembers wanting a blender. Not because she envisioned spending her recovery sipping margaritas, but because she craved a coffee frappe and our favorite ice cream stand is closed this summer. A logical explanation. Except the date on receipt was when Mom couldn’t stand the sight of food, never mind even try to keep anything in her upset tummy. A milkshake was the last things she could eat! Also Mom has no recollection of even making this purchase.

Nor does Mom remember buying the other two items in the box. Yet the sneakers are her correct size and the coloring book is something that would attract her interest. Mom must have had some help with these purchases, but it certainly wasn’t me. The box arrived when I was still banned from being by Mom’s bedside. So that leaves Asa to explain these major purchases…

Asa: Ok, so after helping Mom choose a blender, I may have thrown in a couple extra items into the shopping cart. But it was all for Mom’s wellbeing. Just look at those cute puppy sneakers! They are sure to motivate Mom to go for walks again. I miss my neighborhood patrol singing partner. As for the Ancient Aliens coloring book, I thought it would be an educational and entertaining way for Mom to pass the time. There’s only so many travel shows and documentaries I could watch with Mom on TV. This was a fun way to keep her mind and hands busy while she rested in bed.

Chuck Billy: Asa, I appreciate your honesty and your intentions. However, I am very disappointed in you. Why didn’t you purchase treats and extra bacon scented squeaky balls for us while you were shopping? Next time, be sure to throw a few toys for us into the cart!