Way to go science ruining the good deal dogs had going!  I have to admit I’m insulted by the recent study that revealed dogs understand language.  Of course we understand language!  One swipe through social media would have saved these researchers’ time because they would have seen that dogs comment daily on the actions of their humans.  Oh and before you start spelling words in front of us as some sort of secret, just stop.  We can spell too!  Humans are so egocentric.  Oh sure we understand what humans are saying, but that doesn’t mean we are going to listen to their one-sided conversations!

I bet these scientists never stopped to consider the ramifications of their research.  Thanks to this study, dogs can no longer play dumb and pretend we don’t understand what our humans are saying.  Thus making it more difficult to ignore their silly commands.  Yes, I hear you, Mom, loud and clear when you tell me to “come.”  But perhaps I wasn’t done rolling in that pile of seaweed.  Another example of selective listening is when Dad tells Asa to stop pulling on our walks.  Of course he understands you don’t like him pulling.  But did it ever occur to you, Dad, that Asa is dragging you along because there could be something awesome up ahead around the bend?  Just think of all the things we would have missed out on if we listened to your every word.

Here’s a wild idea.  Perhaps scientists should do a study to try to understand what us dogs are saying?  I bet it never occurred to these researchers that our barking means something!  On a daily basis I bark to alert my parents when wild turkeys invade our yard, and all Mom does is tell me to be quiet.  In fact just the other day I was banished from Dad’s office because he didn’t understand the seriousness of my warning that my nemesis Mr. Squirrel was lurking outside.  I hardly think that conference call was more important than protecting our vegetable garden from this hungry intruder.  I admit humans have done a great job learning to understand our longing looks at dinner time, our body language when we need to go out, and our sighs when we’re bored and want to play.  But wouldn’t it be great if we could bark to you directly instead of having these one-sided conversations?  Just something to consider…