It all started a few years ago when Mom purchased a pumpkin Halloween costume for my older brother, Angel Lemmy. It looked harmless enough, a hat and a collar, and Lemmy didn’t mind too badly having to wear it. Little did my family realize though, that small purchase would awaken Mom’s secret obsession with dog Halloween costumes! From that year forward the costumes got more and more elaborate, and with that more and more humiliating for us. Dad was helpless to stop her, in fact he enabled her embarrassing behavior by bringing us to Halloween parades for the whole world to see!
I admit that not all of the costumes were bad. I rather enjoyed the year I was “Count Chuckula,” the vampire. And who could forget Lemmy as “Super Dog,” ready to fight his brain tumor. But Mom’s twisted sense of humor took a dark turn when she purchased the bee costume. You see, Lemmy had a morbid fear of bees ever since he tried to eat one. So to see his little brother dressed as one, sent a chill down his spine. Not to mention, being called Chuck BEEly really stung.
Then Asa joined our family. Perhaps I should have warned him about the horror that awaited him on his first Halloween? But I didn’t want to ruin his carefree, idyllic puppyhood. That all changed though the day the mailman delivered a package to the door. As he handed it to Mom, he gave me a sinister wink. I knew right then what was in the box! No wonder dogs bark at delivery people. They are the henchmen of dog halloween costume designers! Mom quickly ran to the kitchen to open it, and that’s when the most terrifying thing happened…she reached into the box and revealed…a caterpillar costume!
But that isn’t the scariest part. Oh no, the scariest part of this tale of Halloween horror is that Asa liked the costume, and shares Mom’s enthusiasm for dressing up for Halloween! Since that time the costumes got even more embarassing, and I have been helpless to stop this madness! They have dressed me up as a flock of flamingos, forced me to go on a teddy bear picnic, and even mocked my love of space by dressing me as an astronaut! And worst of all, Asa has loved every outfit! This year he and Mom picked out not one but TWO costumes for me to wear! So please excuse me while I scour the basement and search the dark corners of the closets, looking for where they hid these new embarassing Halloween costumes!
A few highlights..or more appropriately low points…in the evolution of our Halloween costumes…
