Dear IRS, Hypothetically speaking, if a renowned Dog Ufologist raised the $55 Million required to spend time as a private canine on the International Space Station, could that dog use it as a tax write-off?

Now before you answer, hear me out. Even though this could be misconstrued as a dream vacation for said Dog Ufologist, it is really a business trip. Unlike the Axiom Mission which launched on Friday, with a civilian crew consisting of a real estate investor, businessman, a former fighter pilot and a retired astronaut, the reason for my trip would not be to expand space tourism. My goal is to advance my scientific studies.

How can advances in research be made if the extraterrestrials always must travel to me for meetings? Also there is a lot of wasted time waiting for them to travel here, and a certain degree of uncertainty as to where they’ll show up. For any real progress, I need to go to them, and the ISS is the perfect conference space for such a meeting.

I promise that my trip will be short. Although appealing, I have no intentions of breaking Astronaut Mark Vande Hei’s record of 355 consecutive days in orbit, or even Astronaut Peggy Whiston’s cumulative time of 665 days on the ISS. I will even conduct my research more concisely than fellow Mainer, Astronaut Jessica Meir’s 205 days in space. Like the current crew of private citizens, I will only spend eight days at most. After all, I have many obligations here on Earth that I need to attend to in addition to my work as a Dog Ufologist.

However, before my brother, Asa, begins the massive fundraising effort of bake sales, car washes, and getting paid to do yard work, to raise the $55 Million SpaceX is currently charging, I need to have some assurance that I can later get a tax break on this trip.

Thank you. I look forward to your response,

Chuck Billy, Dog Ufologist