New Year’s Eve is the party event of the year for dogs, second only to Super Bowl Sunday.  But unlike the Super Bowl where party guests are all focused on the TV, making it easy for dogs to sneak a snack here and there, New Year’s brings with it a unique set of challenges.  The lack of a unifying distraction makes people more aware of what us dogs are up to at the party.  Which in turn makes Mom and Dad take critical notice of our actions, and will most likely result in them asking people to not feed us table scraps.  But fear not!  I have a plan for receiving the optimal amount of New Year’s Eve party treats!

When we arrive at the party I will survey the guests to see who are socially awkward.  They are easily recognizable because they are the ones who are having trouble mingling, and they tend to stand by the buffet table nervously eating.  When they see a dog they usually cling to the dog for the rest of the evening and share their food.  Thus making it the ideal way to celebrate the New Year for both dogs and party guests.

But before Asa and I get more acquainted with those guests, there is a menacing guest I must find in the crowd.  That is the person who over compensated for the lack of a date by drinking a bit too much, and then decides to make an unsuspecting dog their new best friend.  That person is very dangerous and must be avoided at all cost because they tend to attract a lot of attention to themselves.  So whereas with the socially awkward guest that will quietly talk to you and let you have a nibble of food here or there while going unnoticed by others; the intoxicated dateless guest is more likely to make you the center of attention.  This includes dancing with you, loudly declaring their devotion to you, and kissing you at midnight.  Now don’t get me wrong, on a normal day I would love all that attention but I’m on a mission here to get the optimal amount of food, remember!  There are mini-hotdogs, crudités, and cheese platters to be had!  And if Mom and Dad notice Asa dancing the night away, they will soon wonder where I am and my plan will be ruined.

So it is our mission to remain as inconspicuous as possible, by spending the evening with the socially awkward people and avoiding at all cost the intoxicated dateless ones.  And if that fails, plan B is to hide under the buffet table and wait for folks to accidentally spill food.  My New Year’s Eve party plan is perfect!