I have a perplexing problem with my portal theory. For years now I thought for certain that I located a portal in my kitchen where items would either mysteriously disappear or reappear. However, new and troubling evidence has arose which has me questioning everything. Let’s review all the facts, and perhaps you’ll reach the same conclusion about one unifying piece of evidence that I initially overlooked.
In April 2023 Dad went for a walk in our woods and returned to find his keys were missing. After checking his pants pockets, he returned to the woods to search for them. However, the keys were not found in the woods. Instead they were discovered in his coat pocket hanging in the closet! This led me to theorize that a portal was located in my kitchen. I reasonable determination based on that evidence and the occasional surprise reappearance of additional missing items in the kitchen.
However, an early morning walk a couple weeks ago made me reconsider the source of the portal. Asa was wearing a pink bandage on his paw to protect his dewclaw which was healing from an injury. During the walk, Dad and I noticed the pink bandage was missing. Not wanting to litter, we retraced our steps looking for Asa’s bandage. Oh and in case you’re wondering, Asa had no recollection of when he may have lost it. The bandage was never located. Thus leaving Dad and I perplexed about the peculiar disappearance.
Fast forward to another chilly morning a few days later, when Dad reached into his coat pocket to procure a new poop bag, and instead he pulled out the missing pink bandage! We both immediately examined Asa’s paw and saw that he was still wearing the bandage that he left the house with moments earlier. Certain that he solved the mystery, Dad returned home and told Mom that he must have absentmindedly retrieved the bandage and put it in his pocket. He then threw it out in the waste basket in front of Mom and myself as witnesses. Case closed. Or so we thought.
A few days later, Mom joined us for a walk. At that time she spied on the side of the road, in plain sight I might add, a pink bandage that matched the missing one, the found one, and the one currently being worn by Asa. Was this the lost bandage? Then what was the bandage found in Dad’s coat pocket? Or was this the missing bandage, found in Dad’s coat pocket, but somehow mysteriously returned to the side of the road again?!
This leads me to ask, is the portal not in the kitchen but in Dad’s pocket? Because in all of these scenarios Dad was wearing his coat, but we weren’t always in the kitchen at the time of the disappearance or reappearance. However, the coat itself does return to the kitchen in all these scenarios.
In an attempt to recreate the events to test my new theory, Asa is now wearing a blue bandage on his walks. Well that, and we ran out of his pink flamingo bandages so had to switch to blue unicorns instead. The change in color will help differentiate if it is the same pink one mysteriously reappearing or a totally new bandage. I will continue to monitor this situation, until I gather more proof, or until Asa doesn’t need to protect his healing dewclaw anymore. To further explore this new theory, I tried to make Dad empty his coat pockets to prove the missing used poop bag from our beach walk weeks earlier, isn’t also mysteriously in his coat. But Dad got very offended when I suggested the search. This has raised further suspicions that Dad may know more than he has led me to believe. I promise to keep you abreast to any updates.
