Sssshh! Can you keep a secret? Last week Dad was away for a few days, so we’ve been playing by Mom’s rules. They are kind of like Dad’s rules, but a lot better. Here are a few highlights, but remember just like the motto “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” let’s just keep this little secret from Dad.
One of Dad’s biggest rules is four paws on the floor. This includes not going on the furniture. Well how could he possibly expect Mom to watch those tear jerking Hallmark Christmas movies alone? Asa was more than happy to keep her company by jumping up on the couch and snuggling with her while they watched. Although he got a little too comfortable one night, fell asleep, forgot he was on the couch, and rolled off of it! Don’t worry, he wasn’t hurt. Asa landed on the dog beds directly in front of the couch, and me, who was being a good boy and obeying the four paws on the floor rule.
Speaking of sleep, that is a difficult rule to convince Mom to break. She is, after all, a very light sleeper, and wakes up at the slightest noise. Normally she doesn’t invite us to sleep in her bedroom. But I like to make her think there are other noises she doesn’t hear and should be concerned about when Dad isn’t home. As bedtime approached, I would randomly start barking at imaginary noises. And as planned, Asa would run to the door and stand there staring for an unnervingly long time. I’ve got to hand it to Asa, who knew he could stay focused for that long, without breaking character? He may be a good actor, yet! Well as predicted our plan worked, and Mom insisted that “to be safe” we should all sleep in the bedroom. This is one of my favorite parts about Mom being in charge. So I raced up the stairs each night to claim my spot on her bed. No need to thank me Mom for protecting you, just doing my duty.
Although performing one’s duty has been a point of contention these past few days between myself and Asa. He feels that despite Dad being away, we need to continue to wake before dawn. No slacking off and sleeping late! Problem is, he is still running on Golden Standard Time (GST) and hasn’t transition to the recent clock change of Daylight Saving Time (DST). So what once was a 4:30 AM wakeup call under GST, is now in reality a 3:30 AM DST alarm. As I mentioned, Mom is a very light sleeper, and despite her attempts to follow my lead and ignore Asa, she can’t. So there we were all wide awake at 3:30 AM.
However, this wasn’t such a bad idea. It inevitably led to Mom feeding us breakfast based on GST, which meant that dinner also was served early. By the time Dad returned this weekend, we were all happily functioning on Golden Standard Time, and ignoring that silly time change from a week ago. He’s determined to get us back on track now, but I’m currently in negotiations to find a happy medium.
I admit though that not all of Mom’s ideas are good. Therefore I’d like to take this moment to apologize to the neighbors for Mom and Asa’s impromptu caroling during their walks. Are the Hallmark Christmas movies to blame? Or maybe the frosty chill in the morning air? Either way when they set off for their walk I couldn’t help but hear that Mom was happily humming the tune of “Sleigh Ride,” while Asa pranced along beside her, doing his best impersonation of a dancing horse. They then spied a neighbor’s holly Christmas decorations, and that turned their singing into a rousing version of “The Holly and the Ivy.” Never in the history of that carol has anyone sang it with quite the exuberance as Mom and Asa. I do thank the neighbor who stopped on her way to work to ask if I was ok, because I wasn’t joining them on this walk. I appreciate her concern, but after hearing them sing, do you blame me for not wanting to walk with Mom and Asa? Mom takes me for quieter walks, where I can stop and smell everything to make a mental note for neighborhood patrol. Dad is always in such a rush that he doesn’t let me do this crucial intel gathering.
However, this time of anarchy is over, now that Dad is home. No more playing by Mom’s rules. With the exception of our meals still being off his schedule, Dad is none-the-wiser of what happened in his absence. Let’s just keep it that way, shall we?
