About a month ago someone new moved into our neighborhood. No big deal, right? We have neighbors come and go all the time. Besides, this one seemed like a quiet fellow. Not like those nosy owls who are always asking “who?” every time I leave the house. Or the coyotes who are up all night howling. However, fast forward a month and my new neighbor is getting a bit too presumptuous. Let me explain.

At the end of March I noticed a Porcupine had taken up residence in the trunk of an old tree on my street. Perviously some chipmunks lived there, but they must have moved during the spring housing boom. Anyways, I nodded my head hello and kept right on walking. He was so quiet, Asa didn’t even notice him.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that we kept similar hours. While I did my early morning patrol shift, Porcupine would usually be heading home after an evening out. Again, not a problem. Unlike how the media likes to portray them, Porcupines do not have some evil superpower where they shoot their quills at unsuspecting dogs. You have to brush up against the quills to be on the receiving end of that prickly situation. Therefore, I made sure Asa and Dad kept a respectful distance, while we waited as he crossed the street.

This routine went on for weeks, until Monday morning when the Porcupine decided to overstep his boundaries. Literally, overstep boundaries. Mom opened the door one morning to find him standing in MY fenced in backyard, looking just as surprised to see Mom as she was to see him!

Now he isn’t the first neighbor to come over uninvited into our yard. Hence why Mom always checks before letting Asa and I out first thing in the morning. We’ve had everyone from wild turkeys, coyotes, and skunks appear at one time or another in our fenced in area. So she calmly shut the door, while I paced at the door needing to relieve myself after a long night.

Now here’s where things really got annoying. Rather than run and flee like most trespassers do when caught, this Porcupine sauntered over behind an old flowerpot to finish his meal of dandelions and other vegetation in our yard. Didn’t he know I have to go to relieve myself? Asa was no help. He stood at the window watching him, smiling and wagging his tail. Now is NOT the time to be neighborly, Asa!

Eventually the Porcupine decided it was time to leave. But he forgot where he entered. Again, he took his dear sweet time walking along our fence, sticking his head through each opening between the slats, trying to find one big enough for him to slip through. Doesn’t he know Porcupines are great climbers and he could exit anywhere? Unsuccessful on his first sweep, he took a break to nibble on a leaf, while he thought out a new plan. This time he repeated sticking his head through the slats along a different stretch of the fence. Eventually he found his escape route.

But did he go rushing through? Nope. He sat down again, while he enjoyed a pinecone. Meanwhile, I’m standing cross-pawed at the door, because it was a long night and I really needed to go out! Ok, it didn’t help that I’m a stress eater, and drank a lot of water while I waited for the Porcupine to exit. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the Porcupine mustered his determination, and squeezed himself through the fence and sauntered away down our trail in the direction of his home.

Oh and in case you’re wondering, when I went to do neighborhood patrol an hour later. There he was crossing my path again, without so much as an apology for all the inconvenience he caused me that morning! This presumptuous Porcupine is turning into quite the perplexing problem!