Sssshhhh, come in closer, I need to talk to you about something important.  But the Aliens are listening so I need to whisper.  I tried to warn you in the earlier post Proof of My Attempted Alien Abduction, but my call to action obviously was not taken seriously.  But since April I have even more proof, not only that Aliens are monitoring my every move, but that this is an international conspiracy!

Exhibit A: While hiking I couldn’t help but notice that strange purple light in the sky is following me yet again.  But my parents and Asa were oblivious.  Am I the only one who looks up in this family?

Exhibit B: Recently, Asa has inexplicably been forced to wear a cone of shame.  While Asa was sharing his woes with our Cousin Bear, who lives in The Netherlands, I was shocked to see he was wearing a cone too!  Coincidence?  I think not!  EVERYONE knows that Aliens use the cone of shame to listen to our thoughts!  The fact that two dogs at different places on the planet are wearing them simultaneously isn’t something to take lightly.

Perhaps it isn’t just me they are interested in abducting?  Consider yourself warned!  Now please excuse me, I’m going to put tinfoil on Asa’s head to block his thoughts from the Aliens.  By the way, does anyone have the phone number for Ancient Aliens Theorist, Giorgio Tsoukalos?  I may need his help.