Ssshh, I’m hiding from Mom as she gets our ridiculous Halloween costumes ready for a weekend filled with embarassing photos, culminating in being publicly humiliated at the Portsmouth Halloween Parade! So while I hide, please enjoy my frightening version of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, this is silly,
Over many a quaint and curious costume of forgotten Halloweens —
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came some laughing,
As of some one gently laughing, laughing at my garb.
“’Tis the TV,” I muttered, “laughing in my living room —
Only this and nothing more.”
~
But the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of polyester wings,
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the laughing, I stood repeating
“’Tis some TV show Asa’s watching —
Some late night program entreating laughter in my living room; —
This it is and nothing more.”
~
Ah, distinctly I remember it is in the bleak October;
And each separate costume wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished them gone; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my friends’ better closets — garments without silly collars —
For the rare and radiant disguise which would make the children cry —
Frightening for evermore.
~
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal dog ever dared to dream before;
Would I be a bug, a pumpkin, or perhaps a fluffy something, shaming me once more?
And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, “No More!”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the words, “Encore!”—
Merely this and nothing more.
~
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is what is in store.”
Caught by my unruly mother whom unmerciful costumes don;
Paraded around door to door till the laughter is abhorred —
Tell me why I must endure this melancholy burden once more,
Of Halloween Costumes — “Nevermore!”
~
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Mom, I cried, “thy costumes you hath made me
are not ghastly and a bore!”
“Dad,” said I, “truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is people are all laughing — I will be a bug no more!”
Quoth the Golden, “Nevermore!”
