It has occurred to me that if I’m going to make it as a rock star, I need to understand all aspects of a successful tour. Well as luck would have it, Gene Simmons, of the legendary rock band Kiss, the man who can market anything and everything and make it successful, has just the opportunity I need to learn the ropes! On his current solo tour he’s offering, “The Ultimate Gene Simmons Experience,” in which a lucky fan can be his personal assistant and band roadie for the day!

According to his website, GeneSimmonsAxe.com, the fan will begin the day meeting with Gene and the band to go over that day’s schedule. After being issued a crew t-shirt, hat and the all-important VIP laminate, the fan then works all day as a roadie, moving gear, setting up for the show, listening in on the soundcheck, before sitting down for a meal with Gene. And best yet after all that, Gene will bring the fan onstage and introduce him to the audience and give him a bass used during rehearsal! Hopefully, I don’t have to actually play that autographed bass on stage. I’m more the accordion type. Just think of what this will do for my career though, and how much experience I will gain, all for a mere $12,495.00, plus the cost of a ticket to the show!

In fact, I’m learning already! I always thought as the rock star it was up to me to pay my crew. But apparently it is the reverse. So technically Mom and Dad should be paying me for the honor of going on tour this summer! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go borrow Mom’s credit card to buy the Ultimate Gene Simmons Experience! Mom will be pleased to know she paid me in advance for the opportunity to be my roadie this summer.